Took a leave yesterday because Baby Haniyya is down with cold/flu/cough.
Poor baby was taken to see a doctor on last Saturday when he was given a nebulizer treatment there in the clinic and we returned home with three different kind of medicine - for high temperature, for pleghm and antibiotic.
His temperature is not stable - sometimes it's high, sometimes not quite.
But there were a lot of tossing at night (and loss of sleep) as he keeps merengek at night.
Poor Haniyya.
So, he sets the record so far among my sons, to be the earliest to receive nebulizer treatement.
Both hubby and I are asthmatic and now it seems that all our children have some respiratory problem too.
Huzaifah had his first nebulizer treatment when he was about 9 months if I'm not mistaken, in Tokyo. Since then there had been subsequent treatments including two ambulance rides due to asthma related incidents.
Humaidi had his first nebulizer treatment when he was 1 1/2 year old, not long after we returned to Malaysia last year.
Baby Haniyya had his first nebulizer treatment at 6 month.
Poor baby.
He's supposed to get his 6-month jab yesterday.
But there was no point taking him to the clinic because he won't get any jab in his current condition.
Not while he's still down with cold/flu/cough.
Not while he's still on medication.
He's not as boisterous as his two big brothers were at his age.
But now he seems even less lively.
So tak bermaya.
Poor baby.
Please make doa that my baby will recover soon.
It's worrying - especially now in the wake of the H1N1 pandemic/epidemic.
May Allah protect us from any harm, and may we be among those blessed and protected by Him always...
*****
Now that Ramadhan is only a few days away, I hereby seek forgiveness from my readers - family, friends, strangers and all.
Selamat berpesta ibadah di Ramadhan mubarak
dan semoga kekal istiqamah berpesta ibadah di bulan lain...
(I've failed the second part again... and again... and again... I know, I'm so weak that way)
I pray that Allah will grace us to meet, greet Lailatul Qadr wisely and make the best of the extra special night.
Have a blessed, blissful and meaningful Ramadhan.
Ramadhan kareem!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Al fatihah for Ustaz Asri Rabbani
Al-Fatihah for Ustaz Asri Ibrahim a.k.a. Asri Rabbani, who passed away earlier today.
Being from religious school background, I grew up listening to Nada Murni and 'old school' nasyid groups which usually recorded their album at OVA with Allahyarham Ustaz Asri's name mentioned among those acknowleged on the album cover.
In late 1990's, when The Zikr turned a new leaf as Raihan, Nada Murni rebranded themselves as Rabbani and Hijjaz.
I have always preferred Raihan and Hijjaz over Rabbani, but that is not to say that I am not fond of Ustaz Asri.
After all, certain nasyids sound way better when they were sung by Allahyarham Ustaz Asri in his Nada Murni days compared to the "newer version" being sung by others.
He'd been consistent in conveying Islamic message through nasyid through out his life, believing strongly in providing halal alternative form of music and entertainment.
My hope is that his legacy of many nasyid, zikr, selawat etc, will be counted by Allah as part of his "investments" that will benefit him in the hereafter. May he and his family be blessed and protected by Allah always...
*****
I would also appreciate if you can join me in making doa for a colleague.
He's been a confirmed H1N1 patient and is now being treated for it in Subang Jaya.
Been trying to call him but to no avail.
Since it's not advisable to visit H1N1 patients, the best we, his friends, can do for him is to continuously make doa for him and his family...
Being from religious school background, I grew up listening to Nada Murni and 'old school' nasyid groups which usually recorded their album at OVA with Allahyarham Ustaz Asri's name mentioned among those acknowleged on the album cover.
In late 1990's, when The Zikr turned a new leaf as Raihan, Nada Murni rebranded themselves as Rabbani and Hijjaz.
I have always preferred Raihan and Hijjaz over Rabbani, but that is not to say that I am not fond of Ustaz Asri.
After all, certain nasyids sound way better when they were sung by Allahyarham Ustaz Asri in his Nada Murni days compared to the "newer version" being sung by others.
He'd been consistent in conveying Islamic message through nasyid through out his life, believing strongly in providing halal alternative form of music and entertainment.
My hope is that his legacy of many nasyid, zikr, selawat etc, will be counted by Allah as part of his "investments" that will benefit him in the hereafter. May he and his family be blessed and protected by Allah always...
*****
I would also appreciate if you can join me in making doa for a colleague.
He's been a confirmed H1N1 patient and is now being treated for it in Subang Jaya.
Been trying to call him but to no avail.
Since it's not advisable to visit H1N1 patients, the best we, his friends, can do for him is to continuously make doa for him and his family...
Interview panel... 5 tips
Adik-adik,
Ya, saya tahu anda semua cuma lulusan SPM.
Dan saya tahu ramai di antara anda yang datang dari keluarga susah, yang amat memerlukan pekerjaan.
Tetapi saya juga punya tanggungjawab untuk memilih yang paling sesuai untuk diletakkan di jawatan yang anda pohon.
Anda tahu berapa banyak permohonan yang telah diterima dalam setahun untuk jawatan ini?
173,438
Dan anda tahu berapa kekosongan yang ada?
647, dengan 3400 simpanan
Sebenarnya anda bertuah kerana menjadi sebahagian daripada 30,203 yang dipanggil temuduga (terbahagi kepada banyak lembaga, di mana setiap lembaga dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menemuduga sekitar 100 - 180 calon).
Jadi jika anda memang benar-benar inginkan jawatan ini, tunjukkan kesungguhan dan minat anda serta serlahkan keupayaan anda dalam beberapa minit yang ada sewaktu ditemuduga.
Melihatkan dia gagal menjawab walau satu soalan pun dengan baik, malah Rukun Negara pun tidak dapat diingatinya, saya pernah bertanya seorang calon,
"Apa persediaan awak sebelum datang temuduga ini?"
"Saya tak sempat buat apa-apa persediaan sebab sibuk dengan tugasan harian. Malam tadi baru saya sempat print resume saya."
"Bila awak terima surat pemberitahuan temuduga?"
"Emm, sebulan yang lepas."
"Dan awak beritahu saya yang awak tak sempat buat apa-apa persediaan langsung dalam tempoh sebulan?"
"..."
Dan seorang lagi calon yang juga gagal menjawab hatta satu pun soalan dengan baik, bila ditanya apa persediaan sebelum datang temuduga menjawab,
"Terus terang saya katakan, saya memang tidak membuat sebarang persediaan. Saya main belasah saja datang temuduga, mana tahu kot-kot ada rezeki saya ke..."
Adik-adik,
Kalau adiklah yang berada di kedudukan saya sebagai penemuduga, yang cuma boleh memilih 4 orang daripada lebih 100 calon, sejujurnya, adakah adik akan memilih calon sebegini?
Jadi mari saya kongsikan beberapa tip untuk menghadiri temuduga sebagai pembantu tadbir:
Tip 1
Buatlah sedikit kerja rumah!
Ketahui serba sedikit tentang jawatan yang dipohon, apa senarai tugas seorang pembantu tadbir (perkeranian/operasi). Bersedia untuk ditanya tentang situasi kerja jawatan yang dipohon - mislanya kami ada membuat role-play tentang pelanggan kaunter yang sedang marah dan tidak dapat diselesaikan masalahnya pada waktu tersebut. Tanya pada kawan, saudara-mara, kawan kepada kawan yang berada dalam jawatan kerajaan. Jangan bersandar kepada pengalaman kerja yang anda ada semata-mata, tapi cuba olah pengalaman yang anda ada selari dengan keperluan untuk jawatan yang anda pohon dan sedang ditemuduga. Seorang calon mempunyai pengalaman bertahun-tahun sebagai operator pengeluaran, naik menjadi line leader dan kini seorang supervisor di kilang di mana dia bekerja sekarang, tetapi apabila ditanya tentang tugas seorang pembantu tadbir, dia diam kerana tidak tahu dan tidak pasti apa jawapannya.
Tip 2
Buatlah temuduga olok-olok sebagai latihan
Saya mengaku, seorang daripada calon yang terpilih sangat lancar dan fasih sewaktu temuduga dan telah berjaya membuat kedua-dua kami di panel temuduga kagum dengannya. Bila bertanya apa persediaan yang dilakukannya, calon menjawab,
"Saya banyak berlatih temuduga dengan ahli keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Kami agak-agak apa soalan yang akan ditanya dan saya juga ada baca sedikit sebanyak sebagai persediaan"
Kalau anda jenis gugup, saya rasa mungkin temuduga olok-olok sebagai satu latihan dapat memperkemaskan persembahan anda di temuduga sebenar.
Di temuduga olok-olok, anda masih berpeluang menulis jawapan untuk soalan-soalan jangkaan, dan berlatih memberi jawapan dengan penuh yakin.
Tip 3
Serlahkan minat dan keyakinan
Kami cuma ada beberapa minit dengan anda sewaktu temuduga. Jadi buatlah yang terbaik untuk kami jadi kagum dengan anda dan memilih anda. Masuk bilik temuduga dengan memberi salam, senyum, bercakap dengan suara yang jelas, bercakap sambil memandang penemuduga dan jawab semua soalan dengan tenang, yakin dan tunjukkan kesungguhan.
Seorang calon lelaki yang ditemuduga menyelitkan sijil penyertaan dalam koir lagu patriotik antara sijil-sijil yang dikemukakan, jadi kami memintanya untuk menyanyikan sebuah lagu patriotik. Calon tersebut menyanyi sambil lewa dengan mata melilau-lilau sekeliling bilik temuduga menyebabkan kami merasakan beliau tidak ada kesungguhan untuk membuatkan kami rasa 'WOW" dengan kelebihan/kemahiran istimewa yang ada padanya.
Ya, beliau gagal dalam temuduga itu.
Dan ya, kami memang ada bertanya tentang kelebihan/kemahiran istimewa setiap calon...
Jawapan yang biasa kami dengar termasuklah,
"Saya pandai menggunakan komputer, Word, Powerpoint, Adobe Photo Shop..."
"Saya rajin, menepati masa, bersedia kerja lebih masa..."
"Saya boleh bergaul dengan semua jenis orang..."
Itu jawapan-jawapan klise.
Jawapan yang kami utamakan adalah yang di luar kebiasaan.
Tip 4
Jangan gopoh (dan jangan bengkeng)
Sebelum memperkenalkan dirinya, seorang calon telah mengucapkan terima kasih kepada kedua-dua penemuduga yang disangkakannya bertugas di jabatan tempat temuduga dijalankan dan beliau menyangka bahawa jika diterima, akan bertugas di jabatan berkenaan.
Dan peluang memperkenalkan diri yang diberikan digunakan sebegitu rupa sehingga tidak memberi peluang kepada penemuduga untuk mencelah sehingga saya terpaksa memintanya berhenti.
Lalu saya perbetulkan tanggapan salahnya - bahawa saya dan teman saya bukanlah dari jabatan tempat temuduga dijalankan dan jika berjaya, tidak semestinya beliau akan bertugas di jabatan berkenaan. Cuba baca semula surat tawaran temuduga - ada tertulis "pelbagai jabatan", bukan?
Dia terkesima.
Seorang calon wanita apabila diminta menamakan 2 orang Menteri Kabinet dan jawatannya, memprotes, "Saya pernah hadiri temuduga sebelum ini tapi tak ada pula ditanya tentang nama menteri"
"Jadi apa soalan yang ditanya dalam temuduga sebelum ini?"
"Soalan umum, tentang peranan saya sebagai belia dalam menangani masalah gejala sosial yang berlaku di kalangan belia"
"Ok. Cuba ceritakan dengan saya tentang peranan yang awak dapat mainkan sebagai belia dalam menangani masalah sosial di kalangan belia di negara kita"
Hah - malangnya, jawapan yang diterima tidak juga memberi kesan "WOW" ke atas saya.
Tip 5
Sesuaikan diri.
Lain penemuduga, lain stailnya. Beri perhatian kepada maklumat-maklumat yang ada dan persekitaran untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan persembahan sebagai calon. Anda nampak saya (lazimnya calon temuduga hadir ke tempat temuduga lebih awal daripada panel temuduga) bertudung dan tidak bermekap, ya, saya memang lebih senang dengan penampilan yang tidak berlebih-lebih. Kebetulan, wakil jabatan yang menemani saya sepanjang temuduga itu juga sama tarikh lahirnya dengan saya, jadi citarasa kami hampir serupa. Bila ada dua-tiga calon yang masuk dengan memakai haruman yang menusuk-nusuk hidung, awal-awal lagi telah ditolak markah penampilan dirinya. Begitu juga dengan yang tidak menghormati etika pakaian bagi penjawat awam - datang dengan berblaus dan berseluar panjang bagi calon wanita, misalnya - juga telah ditolak markah penampilan diri.
Ada seorang calon yang meletakkan gambar bertudung di resume, juga bertudung dalam MyKad tetapi tidak bertudung sewaktu menghadiri temuduga. Di akhir sesi temuduga, saya menegurnya, "Saya lihat gambar yang awak berikan bertudung, dan gambar MyKad awak juga bertudung, tetapi awak tidak bertudung sekarang. Saya cuma mahu katakan pada awak, bila awak telah lakukan sesuatu yang betul mengikut suruhan Tuhan, teruskanlah..."
Ya, saya lebih berminat dengan calon yang tidak berpura-pura - jika bertudung di gambar yang dilekatkan pada resume, bertudunglah dia semasa menghadiri temuduga. Dan sebaliknya.
Tetapi ini cumalah kami...
Seperti yang telah saya katakan - sesuaikan dengan penemuduga, kerana lain penemuga lain stailnya.
Saya harap tip-tip yang diberikan ini dapat memberi manfaat, khususnya kepada anda yang ada kebolehan bekerja dengan baik tetapi sering kandas di temuduga...
Ya, saya tahu anda semua cuma lulusan SPM.
Dan saya tahu ramai di antara anda yang datang dari keluarga susah, yang amat memerlukan pekerjaan.
Tetapi saya juga punya tanggungjawab untuk memilih yang paling sesuai untuk diletakkan di jawatan yang anda pohon.
Anda tahu berapa banyak permohonan yang telah diterima dalam setahun untuk jawatan ini?
173,438
Dan anda tahu berapa kekosongan yang ada?
647, dengan 3400 simpanan
Sebenarnya anda bertuah kerana menjadi sebahagian daripada 30,203 yang dipanggil temuduga (terbahagi kepada banyak lembaga, di mana setiap lembaga dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menemuduga sekitar 100 - 180 calon).
Jadi jika anda memang benar-benar inginkan jawatan ini, tunjukkan kesungguhan dan minat anda serta serlahkan keupayaan anda dalam beberapa minit yang ada sewaktu ditemuduga.
Melihatkan dia gagal menjawab walau satu soalan pun dengan baik, malah Rukun Negara pun tidak dapat diingatinya, saya pernah bertanya seorang calon,
"Apa persediaan awak sebelum datang temuduga ini?"
"Saya tak sempat buat apa-apa persediaan sebab sibuk dengan tugasan harian. Malam tadi baru saya sempat print resume saya."
"Bila awak terima surat pemberitahuan temuduga?"
"Emm, sebulan yang lepas."
"Dan awak beritahu saya yang awak tak sempat buat apa-apa persediaan langsung dalam tempoh sebulan?"
"..."
Dan seorang lagi calon yang juga gagal menjawab hatta satu pun soalan dengan baik, bila ditanya apa persediaan sebelum datang temuduga menjawab,
"Terus terang saya katakan, saya memang tidak membuat sebarang persediaan. Saya main belasah saja datang temuduga, mana tahu kot-kot ada rezeki saya ke..."
Adik-adik,
Kalau adiklah yang berada di kedudukan saya sebagai penemuduga, yang cuma boleh memilih 4 orang daripada lebih 100 calon, sejujurnya, adakah adik akan memilih calon sebegini?
Jadi mari saya kongsikan beberapa tip untuk menghadiri temuduga sebagai pembantu tadbir:
Tip 1
Buatlah sedikit kerja rumah!
Ketahui serba sedikit tentang jawatan yang dipohon, apa senarai tugas seorang pembantu tadbir (perkeranian/operasi). Bersedia untuk ditanya tentang situasi kerja jawatan yang dipohon - mislanya kami ada membuat role-play tentang pelanggan kaunter yang sedang marah dan tidak dapat diselesaikan masalahnya pada waktu tersebut. Tanya pada kawan, saudara-mara, kawan kepada kawan yang berada dalam jawatan kerajaan. Jangan bersandar kepada pengalaman kerja yang anda ada semata-mata, tapi cuba olah pengalaman yang anda ada selari dengan keperluan untuk jawatan yang anda pohon dan sedang ditemuduga. Seorang calon mempunyai pengalaman bertahun-tahun sebagai operator pengeluaran, naik menjadi line leader dan kini seorang supervisor di kilang di mana dia bekerja sekarang, tetapi apabila ditanya tentang tugas seorang pembantu tadbir, dia diam kerana tidak tahu dan tidak pasti apa jawapannya.
Tip 2
Buatlah temuduga olok-olok sebagai latihan
Saya mengaku, seorang daripada calon yang terpilih sangat lancar dan fasih sewaktu temuduga dan telah berjaya membuat kedua-dua kami di panel temuduga kagum dengannya. Bila bertanya apa persediaan yang dilakukannya, calon menjawab,
"Saya banyak berlatih temuduga dengan ahli keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Kami agak-agak apa soalan yang akan ditanya dan saya juga ada baca sedikit sebanyak sebagai persediaan"
Kalau anda jenis gugup, saya rasa mungkin temuduga olok-olok sebagai satu latihan dapat memperkemaskan persembahan anda di temuduga sebenar.
Di temuduga olok-olok, anda masih berpeluang menulis jawapan untuk soalan-soalan jangkaan, dan berlatih memberi jawapan dengan penuh yakin.
Tip 3
Serlahkan minat dan keyakinan
Kami cuma ada beberapa minit dengan anda sewaktu temuduga. Jadi buatlah yang terbaik untuk kami jadi kagum dengan anda dan memilih anda. Masuk bilik temuduga dengan memberi salam, senyum, bercakap dengan suara yang jelas, bercakap sambil memandang penemuduga dan jawab semua soalan dengan tenang, yakin dan tunjukkan kesungguhan.
Seorang calon lelaki yang ditemuduga menyelitkan sijil penyertaan dalam koir lagu patriotik antara sijil-sijil yang dikemukakan, jadi kami memintanya untuk menyanyikan sebuah lagu patriotik. Calon tersebut menyanyi sambil lewa dengan mata melilau-lilau sekeliling bilik temuduga menyebabkan kami merasakan beliau tidak ada kesungguhan untuk membuatkan kami rasa 'WOW" dengan kelebihan/kemahiran istimewa yang ada padanya.
Ya, beliau gagal dalam temuduga itu.
Dan ya, kami memang ada bertanya tentang kelebihan/kemahiran istimewa setiap calon...
Jawapan yang biasa kami dengar termasuklah,
"Saya pandai menggunakan komputer, Word, Powerpoint, Adobe Photo Shop..."
"Saya rajin, menepati masa, bersedia kerja lebih masa..."
"Saya boleh bergaul dengan semua jenis orang..."
Itu jawapan-jawapan klise.
Jawapan yang kami utamakan adalah yang di luar kebiasaan.
Tip 4
Jangan gopoh (dan jangan bengkeng)
Sebelum memperkenalkan dirinya, seorang calon telah mengucapkan terima kasih kepada kedua-dua penemuduga yang disangkakannya bertugas di jabatan tempat temuduga dijalankan dan beliau menyangka bahawa jika diterima, akan bertugas di jabatan berkenaan.
Dan peluang memperkenalkan diri yang diberikan digunakan sebegitu rupa sehingga tidak memberi peluang kepada penemuduga untuk mencelah sehingga saya terpaksa memintanya berhenti.
Lalu saya perbetulkan tanggapan salahnya - bahawa saya dan teman saya bukanlah dari jabatan tempat temuduga dijalankan dan jika berjaya, tidak semestinya beliau akan bertugas di jabatan berkenaan. Cuba baca semula surat tawaran temuduga - ada tertulis "pelbagai jabatan", bukan?
Dia terkesima.
Seorang calon wanita apabila diminta menamakan 2 orang Menteri Kabinet dan jawatannya, memprotes, "Saya pernah hadiri temuduga sebelum ini tapi tak ada pula ditanya tentang nama menteri"
"Jadi apa soalan yang ditanya dalam temuduga sebelum ini?"
"Soalan umum, tentang peranan saya sebagai belia dalam menangani masalah gejala sosial yang berlaku di kalangan belia"
"Ok. Cuba ceritakan dengan saya tentang peranan yang awak dapat mainkan sebagai belia dalam menangani masalah sosial di kalangan belia di negara kita"
Hah - malangnya, jawapan yang diterima tidak juga memberi kesan "WOW" ke atas saya.
Tip 5
Sesuaikan diri.
Lain penemuduga, lain stailnya. Beri perhatian kepada maklumat-maklumat yang ada dan persekitaran untuk menyesuaikan diri dengan persembahan sebagai calon. Anda nampak saya (lazimnya calon temuduga hadir ke tempat temuduga lebih awal daripada panel temuduga) bertudung dan tidak bermekap, ya, saya memang lebih senang dengan penampilan yang tidak berlebih-lebih. Kebetulan, wakil jabatan yang menemani saya sepanjang temuduga itu juga sama tarikh lahirnya dengan saya, jadi citarasa kami hampir serupa. Bila ada dua-tiga calon yang masuk dengan memakai haruman yang menusuk-nusuk hidung, awal-awal lagi telah ditolak markah penampilan dirinya. Begitu juga dengan yang tidak menghormati etika pakaian bagi penjawat awam - datang dengan berblaus dan berseluar panjang bagi calon wanita, misalnya - juga telah ditolak markah penampilan diri.
Ada seorang calon yang meletakkan gambar bertudung di resume, juga bertudung dalam MyKad tetapi tidak bertudung sewaktu menghadiri temuduga. Di akhir sesi temuduga, saya menegurnya, "Saya lihat gambar yang awak berikan bertudung, dan gambar MyKad awak juga bertudung, tetapi awak tidak bertudung sekarang. Saya cuma mahu katakan pada awak, bila awak telah lakukan sesuatu yang betul mengikut suruhan Tuhan, teruskanlah..."
Ya, saya lebih berminat dengan calon yang tidak berpura-pura - jika bertudung di gambar yang dilekatkan pada resume, bertudunglah dia semasa menghadiri temuduga. Dan sebaliknya.
Tetapi ini cumalah kami...
Seperti yang telah saya katakan - sesuaikan dengan penemuduga, kerana lain penemuga lain stailnya.
Saya harap tip-tip yang diberikan ini dapat memberi manfaat, khususnya kepada anda yang ada kebolehan bekerja dengan baik tetapi sering kandas di temuduga...
Monday, August 10, 2009
Interview panel...
Out of 102 people we interviewed, we could pick out 4.
Just 4 will be offered the job.
On top of that, we could nominate another 20 as reserves.
And we were lucky because more than 60 did not turn out for the interview, otherwise it would be even more difficult for us to do the selection.
It was my first time sitting as the chairperson of an interview panel.
I only agreed to do it because I had had no experience whatsoever sitting in an interview panel before.
Oh my - I know I won't agree to do it again in the near future.
It was tough.
Yes, it was only for clerks - but the competition is very stiff.
And we had to find the balance too - between pure academic merits and other criterias, such as family background.
I mean, if they perform equally well during the interview - between (a) a single SPM holder from rural area who has 12 siblings, 8 still in school, a stay-at-home-mom and a retiree dad and (b) a Diploma holder who has 2 siblings with working parents, I would give more credits to (a) than (b). But that's just me...
There were 2 of us as panel.
Apart from asking candidates to introduce themselves, we asked simple questions such as (not all questions to all individuals, but rather mix-and-match of sort):
- Rukun Negara (in one instance because the candidate had trouble mixing Rukun Negara with Rukun Islam, we asked him to tell us the Rukun Islam);
- name 2 Cabinet ministers apart from PM and TPM or name 2 MB/Chief Ministers;
- what was the current H1N1-related death cases reported on the inteview day;
- what happened in KL on August 1st and why;
- PPSMI's pros and cons;
- explain the concept of 1Malaysia, or at least tell us the motto of 1Malaysia;
Basically, we asked questions that even high school students could answer if they read the newspaper/watch news on TV and have some interests in what's happening in the country.
Apart from that we also asked them about what they know about the position offered or what they believe the job is all about. For those who are already in the government sector, we asked them a little bit more about stuff we expect officers at their level should be familiar with - General Orders, Golden Handshake and stuff. Nothing too specific - merely general knowledge.
At the end of the day, I must admit that most of them don't read too much.
One girl, when asked about how many H1N1 death related cases reported in Malaysia so far (8 on that day), answered "25,000"
Another confidently named "Tan Sri Khalid Jamlus" as the MB of Selangor
Yet another named "Datuk S Samy Vellu" and "Dato' Chua Soi Lek" as 2 current Cabinet Ministers.
And I got all sort of 'new' definitions for ISA (Internal Security Act)
Most of them knew that some 'riots' or 'demonstration' happened, but they seemed not to really understand why 20,000 or so people from all over Malaysia gathered in Kuala Lumpur that day. (I got tired of getting responses carbon-copied from mainstream newspapers, I stopped asking)
When asked about why they wanted to join the government service, typical answers include:
"Kerja kerajaan terjamin",
"Cerah masa depan kalau kerja kerajaan",
"Tak kena buang kerja walaupun masa ekonomi merudum",
"Kerja kerajaan banyak perks, benefits... pergi hospital percuma untuk diri, untuk anak-anak, boleh dapat biasiswa sambung study, dapat cuti sambung study"
Et cetera.
So, it was no surprise that both of us in the panel took an instant liking to a candidate who, when asked why he would like to join the government service, answered earnestly,
"Sebab saya rasa peluang untuk saya mendalami Islam lebih cerah sekiranya saya bekerja di sektor kerajaan"
He's a muallaf Iban, who reverted to Islam in 2004.
When asked what's the name of the current month in Islamic Calendar, he answered "Syaaban" quicker than some born Muslims.
On Nisfu Syaaban, I asked some to tell me what was the previous night's name according to Islamic Calendar.
Answers included "Isra' Mikraj", "Nuzul Quran" and even "Lailatul Qadar" before the candidate quickly added herself "Isy, tak kan lah kot, Lailatul Qadar mana ada tarikh, masa Ramadhan je pulak tu..."
But one particular girl really stood out from the rest
"What was last night according to Islamic Calendar?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure"
"What is this month in Islamic Calendar"
"Hmm, Rabi'ul Akhir?"
"When do we start fasting?"
"End of this month?"
"What is the name of fasting month?"
"Ramadhan"
"What is the name of the month before Ramadhan?"
"Hmm..."
"Okay, okay, I'll ask an easy one, what is the date of Ma'al Hijrah?"
"14 Rabi'ul Awal?"
"Okay, an even easier one - from where to where did Rasulullah performed the Hijrah?"
"Err... from Madinah?"
With that kind of response from a born Muslim, it was easy to see why we were impressed with the Iban muallaf. In Japan, it would be a big achievement for a Muslim revert to pray 5 times a day after 5 years being a Muslim. This guy, he's been praying 5 times a day after he reverted and he had started fasting in Ramadhan even before he officially pronounced the shahadah.
Yes, he's one of the 4 who we nominated to be offered the job.
Just 4 will be offered the job.
On top of that, we could nominate another 20 as reserves.
And we were lucky because more than 60 did not turn out for the interview, otherwise it would be even more difficult for us to do the selection.
It was my first time sitting as the chairperson of an interview panel.
I only agreed to do it because I had had no experience whatsoever sitting in an interview panel before.
Oh my - I know I won't agree to do it again in the near future.
It was tough.
Yes, it was only for clerks - but the competition is very stiff.
And we had to find the balance too - between pure academic merits and other criterias, such as family background.
I mean, if they perform equally well during the interview - between (a) a single SPM holder from rural area who has 12 siblings, 8 still in school, a stay-at-home-mom and a retiree dad and (b) a Diploma holder who has 2 siblings with working parents, I would give more credits to (a) than (b). But that's just me...
There were 2 of us as panel.
Apart from asking candidates to introduce themselves, we asked simple questions such as (not all questions to all individuals, but rather mix-and-match of sort):
- Rukun Negara (in one instance because the candidate had trouble mixing Rukun Negara with Rukun Islam, we asked him to tell us the Rukun Islam);
- name 2 Cabinet ministers apart from PM and TPM or name 2 MB/Chief Ministers;
- what was the current H1N1-related death cases reported on the inteview day;
- what happened in KL on August 1st and why;
- PPSMI's pros and cons;
- explain the concept of 1Malaysia, or at least tell us the motto of 1Malaysia;
Basically, we asked questions that even high school students could answer if they read the newspaper/watch news on TV and have some interests in what's happening in the country.
Apart from that we also asked them about what they know about the position offered or what they believe the job is all about. For those who are already in the government sector, we asked them a little bit more about stuff we expect officers at their level should be familiar with - General Orders, Golden Handshake and stuff. Nothing too specific - merely general knowledge.
At the end of the day, I must admit that most of them don't read too much.
One girl, when asked about how many H1N1 death related cases reported in Malaysia so far (8 on that day), answered "25,000"
Another confidently named "Tan Sri Khalid Jamlus" as the MB of Selangor
Yet another named "Datuk S Samy Vellu" and "Dato' Chua Soi Lek" as 2 current Cabinet Ministers.
And I got all sort of 'new' definitions for ISA (Internal Security Act)
Most of them knew that some 'riots' or 'demonstration' happened, but they seemed not to really understand why 20,000 or so people from all over Malaysia gathered in Kuala Lumpur that day. (I got tired of getting responses carbon-copied from mainstream newspapers, I stopped asking)
When asked about why they wanted to join the government service, typical answers include:
"Kerja kerajaan terjamin",
"Cerah masa depan kalau kerja kerajaan",
"Tak kena buang kerja walaupun masa ekonomi merudum",
"Kerja kerajaan banyak perks, benefits... pergi hospital percuma untuk diri, untuk anak-anak, boleh dapat biasiswa sambung study, dapat cuti sambung study"
Et cetera.
So, it was no surprise that both of us in the panel took an instant liking to a candidate who, when asked why he would like to join the government service, answered earnestly,
"Sebab saya rasa peluang untuk saya mendalami Islam lebih cerah sekiranya saya bekerja di sektor kerajaan"
He's a muallaf Iban, who reverted to Islam in 2004.
When asked what's the name of the current month in Islamic Calendar, he answered "Syaaban" quicker than some born Muslims.
On Nisfu Syaaban, I asked some to tell me what was the previous night's name according to Islamic Calendar.
Answers included "Isra' Mikraj", "Nuzul Quran" and even "Lailatul Qadar" before the candidate quickly added herself "Isy, tak kan lah kot, Lailatul Qadar mana ada tarikh, masa Ramadhan je pulak tu..."
But one particular girl really stood out from the rest
"What was last night according to Islamic Calendar?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure"
"What is this month in Islamic Calendar"
"Hmm, Rabi'ul Akhir?"
"When do we start fasting?"
"End of this month?"
"What is the name of fasting month?"
"Ramadhan"
"What is the name of the month before Ramadhan?"
"Hmm..."
"Okay, okay, I'll ask an easy one, what is the date of Ma'al Hijrah?"
"14 Rabi'ul Awal?"
"Okay, an even easier one - from where to where did Rasulullah performed the Hijrah?"
"Err... from Madinah?"
With that kind of response from a born Muslim, it was easy to see why we were impressed with the Iban muallaf. In Japan, it would be a big achievement for a Muslim revert to pray 5 times a day after 5 years being a Muslim. This guy, he's been praying 5 times a day after he reverted and he had started fasting in Ramadhan even before he officially pronounced the shahadah.
Yes, he's one of the 4 who we nominated to be offered the job.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Rezeki di Nisfu Syaaban
Won a hamper from MuzikFM this morning.
Didn't expect it.
And it's not like I am a frequent caller on a national radio.
But this morning, the topic discussed on "Chit-chat pagi" at MuzikFM was "pengalaman mendapat cahayamata pertama".
And I just couldn't resist calling - and got through after my second try.
So I shared how I had to leave my son with my mother 11 days after I gave birth.
That my baby and hubby only joined me in Japan after more than 6 months later.
How surprised (and embarrassed) I was to find out that I blurted a lot - while I was not fully conscious - to the doctor who had to attend to the 'natural tear' which caused hematoma after I gave birth.
How I could no longer postpone my trip to Japan or otherwise I would not get the scholarship.
And finally, how rewarding it was when on my graduation day, I took Huzaifah on stage to stand next to me as I was conferred the Master degree.
(They even asked me to say some thing in Japanese, which I did, but it was not a full sentence... I muttered "Minna-san, Muaz-san to Azura-san to issho..." I should've completed the sentence with "... itte kudasai" or something along that line. Oh well...)
The next thing I know, not long after I called, I got a call from MuzikFM conti.
DJ Azura wanted to get my details - full name, IC number, address, the stuff.
"Can you pick up the hamper from RTM? Maybe by next two week or so?"
I was surprised "Eh, I got a hamper?"
"Yup, you won this morning best chit-chat"
"Owh, thank you. And yes, I think I can go and pick up the hamper at RTM."
When I looked at Huzaifah during lunch, suddenly it all came back to me - the "sakit perit" of being away from my newborn baby merely days after he was born.
At almost 4, my first born could really cause headaches with all his non-stop activities - he runs when others walk, climbs when others sit, always on the move, on the move, on the move.
But this afternoon, when he came to me and kissed me on both cheeks just before he asked "Ibu, nak gule", I looked back really closely and saw the baby I missed oh-so-much during those early lonely days in Tokyo...
I hugged him tightly.
Kissed him back on both cheeks.
Yes, he might drive my nuts sometimes with his antics, but he's a sweetheart too.
(like Ayah sometimes said "ada anak susah, tak ada anak susah, tapi baik ada daripada tak dak")
"Ibu, nak gule boleh tak? Boleh la...", he repeated asking for some sweets.
I nodded. And hugged him again.
Sometimes a mother needs to be reminded how special each child is.
And it's easy to forget when there are more than one kid in the family.
"Ibu sayang Ujai. Sayang sangat"
Didn't expect it.
And it's not like I am a frequent caller on a national radio.
But this morning, the topic discussed on "Chit-chat pagi" at MuzikFM was "pengalaman mendapat cahayamata pertama".
And I just couldn't resist calling - and got through after my second try.
So I shared how I had to leave my son with my mother 11 days after I gave birth.
That my baby and hubby only joined me in Japan after more than 6 months later.
How surprised (and embarrassed) I was to find out that I blurted a lot - while I was not fully conscious - to the doctor who had to attend to the 'natural tear' which caused hematoma after I gave birth.
How I could no longer postpone my trip to Japan or otherwise I would not get the scholarship.
And finally, how rewarding it was when on my graduation day, I took Huzaifah on stage to stand next to me as I was conferred the Master degree.
(They even asked me to say some thing in Japanese, which I did, but it was not a full sentence... I muttered "Minna-san, Muaz-san to Azura-san to issho..." I should've completed the sentence with "... itte kudasai" or something along that line. Oh well...)
The next thing I know, not long after I called, I got a call from MuzikFM conti.
DJ Azura wanted to get my details - full name, IC number, address, the stuff.
"Can you pick up the hamper from RTM? Maybe by next two week or so?"
I was surprised "Eh, I got a hamper?"
"Yup, you won this morning best chit-chat"
"Owh, thank you. And yes, I think I can go and pick up the hamper at RTM."
When I looked at Huzaifah during lunch, suddenly it all came back to me - the "sakit perit" of being away from my newborn baby merely days after he was born.
At almost 4, my first born could really cause headaches with all his non-stop activities - he runs when others walk, climbs when others sit, always on the move, on the move, on the move.
But this afternoon, when he came to me and kissed me on both cheeks just before he asked "Ibu, nak gule", I looked back really closely and saw the baby I missed oh-so-much during those early lonely days in Tokyo...
I hugged him tightly.
Kissed him back on both cheeks.
Yes, he might drive my nuts sometimes with his antics, but he's a sweetheart too.
(like Ayah sometimes said "ada anak susah, tak ada anak susah, tapi baik ada daripada tak dak")
"Ibu, nak gule boleh tak? Boleh la...", he repeated asking for some sweets.
I nodded. And hugged him again.
Sometimes a mother needs to be reminded how special each child is.
And it's easy to forget when there are more than one kid in the family.
"Ibu sayang Ujai. Sayang sangat"
Monday, August 03, 2009
Ping Pong - Inter-departmental Tournament 2009
Went to Perlis for J*A's Inter-departmental Tournament 2009.
Spent 3 days and 3 nights away from the family and really, really missed baby Haniyya. In fact, it was the first time I spent any night away from baby Haniyya.
I had had numerous (not merely second) thought about joining the trip to Perlis. But when my boss mentioned in our sectoral meeting that The Big Director has highlighted our sector's lack of participation in the departments sports team, I made up my mind there and then to announced that I would be joining the department's ping pong team to Perlis for the J*A's Inter-departmental tournament. Yes, I know, I always find it difficult to resist any challenge hurled my way, and to me, it was kind of a challenge...
So, Thursday night, I boarded one of the three buses provided, together with 100 plus other officers and support staff to Perlis. Friday evening, we attended a motivational speech by TKPPA(O) (who used to be Mak's officer) in Dewan Warisan, and Friday night we were introduced to Woodball game, and then our players competed for the Congkak Inter-departmental tournament. Despite winning the third place last year, this year our department did not made it past the preliminary round. And I'm afraid I might played a teeny meeny tiny part in it by asking one of the main player to accompany me to a bazar near the Dataran Sheikh Ahmad when the preliminary round was not yet over. Kak Pah, the 'pemain harapan' of our team missed the second game and a substitute player played instead, and we lost. So we did not win any placement for congkak this year (according to Kak Pah, we were No 1 in 2007 and No 3 in 2008, so it was quite a shock not to made it even to the semi-final)
Saturday morning was the day for ping pong and batu seremban players. I wore a long sleeved navy blue t-shirt, only to be told by our Captain that there's a light blue Butterfly jersey similar to those worn by the male team members waiting for me. Upon seeing the jersey for the first time, I worried about it being too tight for me. Alhamdulillah, as it turned out, our Mr Manager was wise enough to get a jersey in a plus size for me. I first thought it would be okay to put on the jersey on top of the navy blue t-shirt, but as it turned out, no air-conditioner was turned on at Kompleks Sukan Negeri Perlis that morning, so I had to change. It was good that I usually had a pair of hand-socks ready in my handbag, because the jersey provided was short-sleeved which meant I had to put on my hand-socks.
Although it was the first time I played mixed double next to Encik Mazlan/Lan (a.k.a Loyot who also used to study and live in Tokyo), I found it easy for us to get along with each other and get attuned to each other's tempo. Our department team won the preliminary round in Group A, which mean we had to meet the second placed team from Group B, the Pension department, in the semi-final.
It was tough fight in semi-final. Encik Lan and I won the first set, but lost the subsequent 3 sets, all in deuce fights. At one time Encik Lan and I were leading by 8-0 in the third set, but we ended up losing our game 3-1. Our team lost to Pension department, 3-2. (The Pension department went on to be the No 2 in the tournament, after they lost to INTAN)
We met the Admin department in No 3/4 placement battle. Encik Lan and I won our game 3-1 (eventhough we lost the game by 2-3 to the same couple in the preliminary round). Prior to that, while we were still playing the third set if I'm not mistaken, a team member whispered, "Puan, kita kena menang ni. Ini deciding match, kita tengah hang 2-2". I looked at Encik Lan, he nodded and from then on we played to win. And we won, alhamdulillah.
So we won the third place in Ping pong, alhamdulillah. Which is a 'cure' of sort for our department since we also did not get pass the preliminary round in batu seremban.
I was so exhausted by the end of the tournament, I hit the sack almost immediately after we arrived back at the hostel. We spent two nights in Institut Latihan Perindustrian (ILP) Perlis, Kangar. When we first arrived, the dormitories were dirty, the shared toilets were dirty, the beds all bare and unmade - an obvious change from the cosy hotel rooms I'm getting quite used to when attending meetings/seminars. But hey, the accomodation provided was way better and cosier than the rubbles our friends in Palestine and Afghanistan are sleeping in, so there. I quickly said alhamdulillah, counting my blessing, simultaneously making doa for those freedom fighters in their beloved homeland and chiding myself for being 'kufur nikmat' for a while.
Saturday night, we attended a dinner hosted by Perlis State Secretariat. I was in the wrong place and the wrong time, so found myself seated at the main table, together with other VVIPs. So my diet went out the window for that one night as I was served nasi minyak Perlis style, laksa, kuey teow sup Siam style, Air Batu Campur, Teh Tarik and various local fruits (rambutan, dokong, mangosteen and durian). I took the opportunity to convey Mak's salam (which she had sent since I started joining the organisation many months ago) to TKPPA, as well as asking him to support Mak's NGO by buying Nasi Arab Amal coupons for Iftar Ramadhan program in Gaza. TKPPA asked me to call him when we're back in the office and I promised I would.
Sunday was spent jalan-jalan at a grape vineyard in Sungai Batu Pahat, followed by a visit to Taman Ular nearby. I had no camera with me, so had to satisfy myself by using my phone camera. Pictures will be uploaded later, insya Allah. And since we were already in Kangar, we did not miss the opportunity to go shopping in Padang Besar.
We left Padang Besar at about 3.15 p.m. and arrived at Putrajaya (after numerous stops along the highway) at about 12 midnight.
I arrived back home at about 12.20 p.m. and guess what greeted me upon my arrival?
The oh-missed-so-much sound of baby Haniyya's cry.
Almost as if he knew I was back and wanted to let me know that he missed me too.
Oh well...
Spent 3 days and 3 nights away from the family and really, really missed baby Haniyya. In fact, it was the first time I spent any night away from baby Haniyya.
I had had numerous (not merely second) thought about joining the trip to Perlis. But when my boss mentioned in our sectoral meeting that The Big Director has highlighted our sector's lack of participation in the departments sports team, I made up my mind there and then to announced that I would be joining the department's ping pong team to Perlis for the J*A's Inter-departmental tournament. Yes, I know, I always find it difficult to resist any challenge hurled my way, and to me, it was kind of a challenge...
So, Thursday night, I boarded one of the three buses provided, together with 100 plus other officers and support staff to Perlis. Friday evening, we attended a motivational speech by TKPPA(O) (who used to be Mak's officer) in Dewan Warisan, and Friday night we were introduced to Woodball game, and then our players competed for the Congkak Inter-departmental tournament. Despite winning the third place last year, this year our department did not made it past the preliminary round. And I'm afraid I might played a teeny meeny tiny part in it by asking one of the main player to accompany me to a bazar near the Dataran Sheikh Ahmad when the preliminary round was not yet over. Kak Pah, the 'pemain harapan' of our team missed the second game and a substitute player played instead, and we lost. So we did not win any placement for congkak this year (according to Kak Pah, we were No 1 in 2007 and No 3 in 2008, so it was quite a shock not to made it even to the semi-final)
Saturday morning was the day for ping pong and batu seremban players. I wore a long sleeved navy blue t-shirt, only to be told by our Captain that there's a light blue Butterfly jersey similar to those worn by the male team members waiting for me. Upon seeing the jersey for the first time, I worried about it being too tight for me. Alhamdulillah, as it turned out, our Mr Manager was wise enough to get a jersey in a plus size for me. I first thought it would be okay to put on the jersey on top of the navy blue t-shirt, but as it turned out, no air-conditioner was turned on at Kompleks Sukan Negeri Perlis that morning, so I had to change. It was good that I usually had a pair of hand-socks ready in my handbag, because the jersey provided was short-sleeved which meant I had to put on my hand-socks.
Although it was the first time I played mixed double next to Encik Mazlan/Lan (a.k.a Loyot who also used to study and live in Tokyo), I found it easy for us to get along with each other and get attuned to each other's tempo. Our department team won the preliminary round in Group A, which mean we had to meet the second placed team from Group B, the Pension department, in the semi-final.
It was tough fight in semi-final. Encik Lan and I won the first set, but lost the subsequent 3 sets, all in deuce fights. At one time Encik Lan and I were leading by 8-0 in the third set, but we ended up losing our game 3-1. Our team lost to Pension department, 3-2. (The Pension department went on to be the No 2 in the tournament, after they lost to INTAN)
We met the Admin department in No 3/4 placement battle. Encik Lan and I won our game 3-1 (eventhough we lost the game by 2-3 to the same couple in the preliminary round). Prior to that, while we were still playing the third set if I'm not mistaken, a team member whispered, "Puan, kita kena menang ni. Ini deciding match, kita tengah hang 2-2". I looked at Encik Lan, he nodded and from then on we played to win. And we won, alhamdulillah.
So we won the third place in Ping pong, alhamdulillah. Which is a 'cure' of sort for our department since we also did not get pass the preliminary round in batu seremban.
I was so exhausted by the end of the tournament, I hit the sack almost immediately after we arrived back at the hostel. We spent two nights in Institut Latihan Perindustrian (ILP) Perlis, Kangar. When we first arrived, the dormitories were dirty, the shared toilets were dirty, the beds all bare and unmade - an obvious change from the cosy hotel rooms I'm getting quite used to when attending meetings/seminars. But hey, the accomodation provided was way better and cosier than the rubbles our friends in Palestine and Afghanistan are sleeping in, so there. I quickly said alhamdulillah, counting my blessing, simultaneously making doa for those freedom fighters in their beloved homeland and chiding myself for being 'kufur nikmat' for a while.
Saturday night, we attended a dinner hosted by Perlis State Secretariat. I was in the wrong place and the wrong time, so found myself seated at the main table, together with other VVIPs. So my diet went out the window for that one night as I was served nasi minyak Perlis style, laksa, kuey teow sup Siam style, Air Batu Campur, Teh Tarik and various local fruits (rambutan, dokong, mangosteen and durian). I took the opportunity to convey Mak's salam (which she had sent since I started joining the organisation many months ago) to TKPPA, as well as asking him to support Mak's NGO by buying Nasi Arab Amal coupons for Iftar Ramadhan program in Gaza. TKPPA asked me to call him when we're back in the office and I promised I would.
Sunday was spent jalan-jalan at a grape vineyard in Sungai Batu Pahat, followed by a visit to Taman Ular nearby. I had no camera with me, so had to satisfy myself by using my phone camera. Pictures will be uploaded later, insya Allah. And since we were already in Kangar, we did not miss the opportunity to go shopping in Padang Besar.
We left Padang Besar at about 3.15 p.m. and arrived at Putrajaya (after numerous stops along the highway) at about 12 midnight.
I arrived back home at about 12.20 p.m. and guess what greeted me upon my arrival?
The oh-missed-so-much sound of baby Haniyya's cry.
Almost as if he knew I was back and wanted to let me know that he missed me too.
Oh well...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Note to civil-servant-who-likes-to-commit-AWOL
Dear Civil-Servant-who-likes-to-commit-AWOL,
I'm sure that by now your boss or your peers must had tried telling you to stop
coming late to the office; or
leaving the office early; or
missing in action in between punching the punch card in and out; or
all of the above
It's common knowledge that most absenteeism cases are committed by employees in the support group, so if you are in the management and professional group - it's worse because you should know better.
And you in the support group - who says that you have any right to come and go from the office as you please? The office does not belong to your father/grandfather/great grandfather, so please treat it with respect as the money which pay your monthly salary originates from the rakyat.
From 316 disciplinary cases recorded in the first quarter of 2009, absenteeism accounted for 179 cases. That's more than half of the cases recorded. And not all absenteeism cases are treated as disciplinary cases. Most cases are merely dealt with administratively, not subject to the procedures laid out in the Public Officers (Conduct and Discipline) Regulations 1993, so only Allah knows how many cases actually are out there.
So, back to you. Yes, you who treat absence without leave from work oh-so-lightly. Who are you kidding, really? Do you really believe that you are going to get away with it with no penalty whatsoever? General Order (Chapter C) allows your emolument to be deducted according to days you went absent without leave.
And you who loves punching your punch card in the morning, goes missing, and punch your card out in the evening - do you think that your emolument won't be deducted because there's proof that you were not absent from work? How about if your boss started making an hourly roll-call for you, or your Chief Clerk started making a log book to check your attendance every other hour? Hah, yes, there are methods to certify your presence in the office apart from just relying on the punch card after all...
And really, do you think you will get way from this that easily???
I mean, if you are a Muslim, and we do know that the largest composition in the civil service is made out of Muslim, then you will be questioned for your doings in the hereafter. It doesn't end here, in this world. You would be held responsible for your doings in the hereafter.
So - by being absent from work without leave, you are not being fair - not only to yourselves, but also to your family, your colleagues and those outside there who would be better officers than you had you not be in the position they could've filled otherwise.
By 'not being fair' , or in other words, being 'cruel' to yourself, I mean that you are going to be held liable for your wrongdoings, so surely purposely not going to work while you get paid for it is an offence. It's different if you want to work and there's no work allocated for you, but if there's work for you to do, and you simply skip doing it for no good reason, don't you think that's just plain wrong?
And the money that you get from not doing your job - yes, your salary. You take it back home, you feed your partner and children out of that 'dirty' money, do you think it would not affect them? Aren't you being 'cruel' to them by feeding them out of money made not through good, clean work, but rather dishonest mean? You did not work, you did not deserve being paid, so that money could not be really 'clean', can it?
And you burden your colleagues at work by not doing the tasks you were supposed to carry out. Somebody else have to do it in your place. Other people have to do what you were supposed to do and you think they would not be mad at you? You goes absent, and set bad examples to other honest, hardworking officers. Do you really think that you and your attitude will not have any effect whatsoever on your organization? Think again.
And had you not be in the position where you are now - someone else could have easily filled up your position and do a better job. But he or she could not do it because the place is not vacant. Your name is there. Your presence in the office pay roll means others could not be where you were supposed to be but you are not really there. So, yes, you are not being fair to others out there who could do a lot better job than you do.
So - if you really are not interested in your job - quit.
If you really want to be in the government service - please change for the better.
Otherwise, just stop being cruel to yourself, your family, your friends at work and others by quitting.
Remember your promise to serve the rakyat when you first joined the civil service?
(I mean, come on, everybody knows that at some point of time, you must had had promised to serve the rakyat by being a civil servant.)
Rather than continuing your AWOL thingy, you would be of better service to the rakyat by not being in the civil service.
Seriously.
Thank you.
I'm sure that by now your boss or your peers must had tried telling you to stop
coming late to the office; or
leaving the office early; or
missing in action in between punching the punch card in and out; or
all of the above
It's common knowledge that most absenteeism cases are committed by employees in the support group, so if you are in the management and professional group - it's worse because you should know better.
And you in the support group - who says that you have any right to come and go from the office as you please? The office does not belong to your father/grandfather/great grandfather, so please treat it with respect as the money which pay your monthly salary originates from the rakyat.
From 316 disciplinary cases recorded in the first quarter of 2009, absenteeism accounted for 179 cases. That's more than half of the cases recorded. And not all absenteeism cases are treated as disciplinary cases. Most cases are merely dealt with administratively, not subject to the procedures laid out in the Public Officers (Conduct and Discipline) Regulations 1993, so only Allah knows how many cases actually are out there.
So, back to you. Yes, you who treat absence without leave from work oh-so-lightly. Who are you kidding, really? Do you really believe that you are going to get away with it with no penalty whatsoever? General Order (Chapter C) allows your emolument to be deducted according to days you went absent without leave.
And you who loves punching your punch card in the morning, goes missing, and punch your card out in the evening - do you think that your emolument won't be deducted because there's proof that you were not absent from work? How about if your boss started making an hourly roll-call for you, or your Chief Clerk started making a log book to check your attendance every other hour? Hah, yes, there are methods to certify your presence in the office apart from just relying on the punch card after all...
And really, do you think you will get way from this that easily???
I mean, if you are a Muslim, and we do know that the largest composition in the civil service is made out of Muslim, then you will be questioned for your doings in the hereafter. It doesn't end here, in this world. You would be held responsible for your doings in the hereafter.
So - by being absent from work without leave, you are not being fair - not only to yourselves, but also to your family, your colleagues and those outside there who would be better officers than you had you not be in the position they could've filled otherwise.
By 'not being fair' , or in other words, being 'cruel' to yourself, I mean that you are going to be held liable for your wrongdoings, so surely purposely not going to work while you get paid for it is an offence. It's different if you want to work and there's no work allocated for you, but if there's work for you to do, and you simply skip doing it for no good reason, don't you think that's just plain wrong?
And the money that you get from not doing your job - yes, your salary. You take it back home, you feed your partner and children out of that 'dirty' money, do you think it would not affect them? Aren't you being 'cruel' to them by feeding them out of money made not through good, clean work, but rather dishonest mean? You did not work, you did not deserve being paid, so that money could not be really 'clean', can it?
And you burden your colleagues at work by not doing the tasks you were supposed to carry out. Somebody else have to do it in your place. Other people have to do what you were supposed to do and you think they would not be mad at you? You goes absent, and set bad examples to other honest, hardworking officers. Do you really think that you and your attitude will not have any effect whatsoever on your organization? Think again.
And had you not be in the position where you are now - someone else could have easily filled up your position and do a better job. But he or she could not do it because the place is not vacant. Your name is there. Your presence in the office pay roll means others could not be where you were supposed to be but you are not really there. So, yes, you are not being fair to others out there who could do a lot better job than you do.
So - if you really are not interested in your job - quit.
If you really want to be in the government service - please change for the better.
Otherwise, just stop being cruel to yourself, your family, your friends at work and others by quitting.
Remember your promise to serve the rakyat when you first joined the civil service?
(I mean, come on, everybody knows that at some point of time, you must had had promised to serve the rakyat by being a civil servant.)
Rather than continuing your AWOL thingy, you would be of better service to the rakyat by not being in the civil service.
Seriously.
Thank you.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Keeping the surface smooth - part 2
I'm not saying that I am good, and she's not.
She has her own strengths, and I really, really would like to believe that she's good at heart, only that, it had not been effectively communicated to others.
The reason that I have "no case" with (or against) her - is because I don't care much for what others want to say about me, so long as I know that I don't bother them. They want to gossip about me, so let it be. People do that - even 'friends' do that. If they really, really care for me and want me to change for the better, than they would let me know on which area I should and could improve. But if they want to say mindless things about me which might be untrue - then, that's their problem, not mine. I may have no power over what others want to do or say, but I do have power, almost total control, over my reactions towards them. So, I rarely let other people's words bother me (or at least, not too much)
To me, being in the same sector means we should try to work with each other well, to create a synergy, to help make things better for the good of all.
Which means that, rather than being 'unit-centric', we should all work for the greater good of the sector; looking at the 'big picture' in achieving the sector's mission and vision.
Which also means that as team player, we should try not to focus on what others are doing wrong, but try to focus on what we can do right to help them. And rather than worrying about us chipping in more compared to others, more concern should be placed on whether we are giving enough for the benefits of all.
In short - more emphasis on 'we' and 'us' rather than 'me' and 'I'.
So - how should I confer this to her, without making her lash back at me with "alah, they all pun dok ngumpat you jugak, you je tak tahu" kind of response?
She has her own strengths, and I really, really would like to believe that she's good at heart, only that, it had not been effectively communicated to others.
The reason that I have "no case" with (or against) her - is because I don't care much for what others want to say about me, so long as I know that I don't bother them. They want to gossip about me, so let it be. People do that - even 'friends' do that. If they really, really care for me and want me to change for the better, than they would let me know on which area I should and could improve. But if they want to say mindless things about me which might be untrue - then, that's their problem, not mine. I may have no power over what others want to do or say, but I do have power, almost total control, over my reactions towards them. So, I rarely let other people's words bother me (or at least, not too much)
To me, being in the same sector means we should try to work with each other well, to create a synergy, to help make things better for the good of all.
Which means that, rather than being 'unit-centric', we should all work for the greater good of the sector; looking at the 'big picture' in achieving the sector's mission and vision.
Which also means that as team player, we should try not to focus on what others are doing wrong, but try to focus on what we can do right to help them. And rather than worrying about us chipping in more compared to others, more concern should be placed on whether we are giving enough for the benefits of all.
In short - more emphasis on 'we' and 'us' rather than 'me' and 'I'.
So - how should I confer this to her, without making her lash back at me with "alah, they all pun dok ngumpat you jugak, you je tak tahu" kind of response?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Keeping the surface smooth
It wasn't until last week I learned about a lot of 'stories' going around the office that I'd missed.
- A married guy (whose wife is either pregnant or in confinement after giving birth, depending from whom you hear this story...) who made his moves towards a young unsuspecting single girl, who now had asked for a transfer due to 'pressures' from left and right...
- Top level management's interest in re-positioning our sector's Executive Officer as the division's Executive Officer...
- An officer seemingly keen on creating disharmony among officers in the sector
So, what have all these has anything to do with me?
First - that 'young unsuspecting single girl' who was duped into believing that slick guy is my unit's clerk. Understandably, she's now under a lot of pressure - her mother had even asked her to quit. I personally believe that a transfer to her hometown would be a better option - she won't lose her job, her mother could worry less with them being in the same district and that sick guy would have some trouble troubling her with all the distance.
Second - while I'm the so-called 'sector's admin officer", our EO has been doing all the nitty gritty stuff and she's good at it. The sector need her around. At least for the time being, what with us having no Chief Clerk and all.
Third - other officers in the sector have asked me to 'talk to' this particular officer because it seems like I am the only one who has 'no case' (read: 'bengang') with her.
#####
So, how could one advise someone with a 'superiority complex'?
You ask "what is 'superiority complex'"? Well, overheard 'clues' are something along the line of:
- "Oh, we got more stuff done than others. Other units do not have that much to do anyway"
- "I don't know about others, but I know that my [insert cooking here] was a big hit during lunch yesterday. The Big Boss loved it!"
- "My junior officers are the best speakers. They know more compared to others"
- (To her junior officer during a retreat program ) "You don't have to man the laptop, it can be stressful. Let others man the lap top. Not you"
- (To a junior officer from a different unit in the same retreat program) "You man the laptop. My officer had done enough."
And I won't start on 'putting one against another' incidents. Or 'talking behind one's back' - saying one thing in front of you, and another behind your back. I was told that when the junior officers compared notes among themselves, it really made some of them simply lost their respect for her as an officer more senior than them.
But this is not my war with her. I was told that she remarked to others that I only relaxed most of the time, very unlike her who found it difficult to relax even for a bit.
Well,
I might not appear busy, running there and here all the time;
I might not write memos for colleagues in the same sector (which got our colleague all riled up, asking "What the???.You might want to write memos to officers of different sectors - not in the same one!");
I might not report to the Big Boss or Bigger Boss often;
I don't mind others getting more invitation to give talk more often than I do;
But - I get my job done.
Just because I don't work in the same fashion that she does, it doesn't mean I have any lesser job than hers. Or work any lesser than her.
After all, when one have piles of thick files on their desk, it could only indicate whether they have a lot to do or do not know how to do their job well.
#####
You know how it is like when you used a pencil to write on a piece of paper, made a mistake and erased it, the surface of the paper is no longer smooth?
I would like to keep that harmony going on, to keep the surface smooth.
But I find it difficult to do so. Tak banyak, sikit, ada juga tercalar di hati.
I know - I'm so weak.
#####
Oh Allah - please forgive your servants who keep 'menzalimi' our own selves...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
It's tragical (Marwa Al-Sherbini - syahidat al-hijab)
She was called "terrorist", "Islamist" and "slut" by her 28 year old Russian-German neighbor in a public park as she was playing with her 3 year old son just because she donned the hijab.
She lodged a complaint against him.
He was fined Euro780 and appealed the fine.
She went to the court in Dresden, Germany to state her case.
She was stabbed 18 times in the courtroom in front of her 3 year old son.
A pharmacist, she was four month pregnant with her second child.
Stabbed
18 times
Witnessed by her 3 year old son
In a courtroom during a judicial session
When her husband sought to protect her from the xenophobic attacker, guess who got shot by the court security?
The husband, not the attacker.
The husband (who was in Germany on a research fellowship) was critically wounded as he was stabbed by the attacker and shot by court security.
("The guards thought that since he wasn't blond, he must be the attacker so they shot him," or so said the deceased's brother to an Egyptian television station.)
*****
When Theo van Gogh, a Dutch film director who had deliberately and contemptuously belittled Muslim culture, was killed by a Muslim in 2004, it was hugely dramatised in the European media.
Why the brutal stabbing of a pregnant woman, who was the victim of a religious slur, who had not done anything that could be construed as an act of provocation, has received so little publicity in the same media?
Because she's a Muslim?
Because she wore hijab?
Sad
Unbelievable
*****
Al-Fatihah for Marwa Al-Sherbini.
May Allah bless her and her family always
(My heart really goes out for her son. Huzaifah is not yet 4 and I can't imagine how traumatized a child his age would be to witness such horrifying scene)
She lodged a complaint against him.
He was fined Euro780 and appealed the fine.
She went to the court in Dresden, Germany to state her case.
She was stabbed 18 times in the courtroom in front of her 3 year old son.
A pharmacist, she was four month pregnant with her second child.
Stabbed
18 times
Witnessed by her 3 year old son
In a courtroom during a judicial session
When her husband sought to protect her from the xenophobic attacker, guess who got shot by the court security?
The husband, not the attacker.
The husband (who was in Germany on a research fellowship) was critically wounded as he was stabbed by the attacker and shot by court security.
("The guards thought that since he wasn't blond, he must be the attacker so they shot him," or so said the deceased's brother to an Egyptian television station.)
*****
When Theo van Gogh, a Dutch film director who had deliberately and contemptuously belittled Muslim culture, was killed by a Muslim in 2004, it was hugely dramatised in the European media.
Why the brutal stabbing of a pregnant woman, who was the victim of a religious slur, who had not done anything that could be construed as an act of provocation, has received so little publicity in the same media?
Because she's a Muslim?
Because she wore hijab?
Sad
Unbelievable
*****
Al-Fatihah for Marwa Al-Sherbini.
May Allah bless her and her family always
(My heart really goes out for her son. Huzaifah is not yet 4 and I can't imagine how traumatized a child his age would be to witness such horrifying scene)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Cabaran Tag
Was tagged by Anira since... so long ago that I've forgotten when it actually was.
Anyway, here goes...
Do you think you are hot?
Yes, at least to my hubby, hehehe...
Upload a favorite picture of you
Why do you like that picture?
I want to remain as cheerful as the girl in the picture seems to be ;-)
When was the last time you ate pizza?
Hmm, last month when we had this 'buy 1 and buy another for RM1' coupon.
The song you listen to?
Anything played on MuzikFM on the way to and fro office
(I prefer IKIM.FM but the car's radio being a Japan-spec, could only play channels which are up to 90.00Mhz, and IKIM is 91.6...)
What are you doing right now besides this?
Waiting for calls from other department, editing a paper prepared by subordinate, thinking about things to do tomorrow...
What other names do you prefer besides this?
(Besides A.Z.? or Azra? or Haida?)
Haizra Azida
Now I would like to tag new victims to do it
1. Zarin
2. Jaja
3. Hanis
Who is number 1?
One of the Labbies - the first batch of language lab assistants in our former school. We've been in touch with each other since leaving school back in 1992. Used to be my buddy to attend other friends' weddings (but he missed coming to my own wedding! He thought it was going to be held on Sunday, but it was held on Saturday, so there). Cool and fun to hang out with.
Say something about number 2
Sweet despite her 'ganas' appearance. Vulnerable despite her 'tough' look. Contradictory in so many ways, yet honest-to-goodness in her own way. One of a kind.
What about number 3?
A kouhai (junior) who's been mostly a silent reader, and now I'm her silent reader pulak. Ahah - baru aci, ye dak? Here's a light entry suggestion for her mostly-filled-with-heavy-entries blog.
Anyway, here goes...
Do you think you are hot?
Yes, at least to my hubby, hehehe...
Upload a favorite picture of you
Why do you like that picture?
I want to remain as cheerful as the girl in the picture seems to be ;-)
When was the last time you ate pizza?
Hmm, last month when we had this 'buy 1 and buy another for RM1' coupon.
The song you listen to?
Anything played on MuzikFM on the way to and fro office
(I prefer IKIM.FM but the car's radio being a Japan-spec, could only play channels which are up to 90.00Mhz, and IKIM is 91.6...)
What are you doing right now besides this?
Waiting for calls from other department, editing a paper prepared by subordinate, thinking about things to do tomorrow...
What other names do you prefer besides this?
(Besides A.Z.? or Azra? or Haida?)
Haizra Azida
Now I would like to tag new victims to do it
1. Zarin
2. Jaja
3. Hanis
Who is number 1?
One of the Labbies - the first batch of language lab assistants in our former school. We've been in touch with each other since leaving school back in 1992. Used to be my buddy to attend other friends' weddings (but he missed coming to my own wedding! He thought it was going to be held on Sunday, but it was held on Saturday, so there). Cool and fun to hang out with.
Say something about number 2
Sweet despite her 'ganas' appearance. Vulnerable despite her 'tough' look. Contradictory in so many ways, yet honest-to-goodness in her own way. One of a kind.
What about number 3?
A kouhai (junior) who's been mostly a silent reader, and now I'm her silent reader pulak. Ahah - baru aci, ye dak? Here's a light entry suggestion for her mostly-filled-with-heavy-entries blog.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Not stupid
Being illiterate does not necessarily mean one is stupid.
Being of lower academic qualification does not necessarily mean one is stupid.
Rasulullah s.a.w was an illiterate.
Yet, even before he started receiving revealed knowledge from Allah,
he was respected in his clan for his wisdom.
He was "ummi" - illiterate.
Yet, he was also "fatanah" - wise.
So wisdom and literacy does not always go hand in hand.
Having one does not necessarily means having the other as well.
But which should count more?
Being of lower academic qualification does not necessarily mean one is stupid.
Rasulullah s.a.w was an illiterate.
Yet, even before he started receiving revealed knowledge from Allah,
he was respected in his clan for his wisdom.
He was "ummi" - illiterate.
Yet, he was also "fatanah" - wise.
So wisdom and literacy does not always go hand in hand.
Having one does not necessarily means having the other as well.
But which should count more?
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
"No, you are not ugly"
It must be quite a feat for her - in her rather petite frame - to carry a 12 year old boy to the toilet because he 'oversoiled' his diaper.
But she does it anyway.
It must be quite a feat for her to patiently keep answering repetitious questions from her students. (I know it must be a feat because I find it difficult sometimes to keep my cool when Huzaifah keep repeating asking me question which I'd already answered, probably hoping I would change my "no" to a "yes")
But she keeps her cool with her students all the time.
She has assorted mix of students. Some look okay physically but have little IQ. Some are in fact little in stature. Some are confirmed ADHD, others are autistic. They are all special, each in their own way.
It really touched me when she told me that this year, for Eid, she's inviting a few select students - those left at the Welfare Center by their own parents - to spend the Eid with her as part of her family in the kampung.
One of those left at the Welfare Center is a daughter of a well-to-do couple. A "Datuk" and "Datin". Asked if they would come and visit her on Eid, she replied to her teacher that no, her parents never spend Eid with her. They would only send some new clothes for Eid but never take her back home to at least spend one special day with her siblings.
"They are ashamed of me, Cikgu. The rest of my siblings are normal. I am not. I am ugly"
"No, you are not ugly. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. This year, you will come and spend Eid with me and my family. You are going to be part of my family, ok? My children will be your adik-adik, ok?"
#####
"Yes, I admit, it's not easy to be a teacher for a "special education" class. But being their teacher has taught me lots of things too. And it's difficult not to fall in love with them. I love them all, despite having to deal with stuff teachers in normal schools don't usually deal with. Stuff that usually are reserved for mothers for their small toddlers - cleaning them up, putting their clothes on, feeding them. But they are unique. Truth is they are not "kurang upaya", only "beza upaya." If only we, the so-called 'normal' ones could learn to appreciate them more..."
I have lots of respect for dedicated teachers like Diana.
I wish that all 'special education' children would get the love and attention of at least one teacher like her...
But she does it anyway.
It must be quite a feat for her to patiently keep answering repetitious questions from her students. (I know it must be a feat because I find it difficult sometimes to keep my cool when Huzaifah keep repeating asking me question which I'd already answered, probably hoping I would change my "no" to a "yes")
But she keeps her cool with her students all the time.
She has assorted mix of students. Some look okay physically but have little IQ. Some are in fact little in stature. Some are confirmed ADHD, others are autistic. They are all special, each in their own way.
It really touched me when she told me that this year, for Eid, she's inviting a few select students - those left at the Welfare Center by their own parents - to spend the Eid with her as part of her family in the kampung.
One of those left at the Welfare Center is a daughter of a well-to-do couple. A "Datuk" and "Datin". Asked if they would come and visit her on Eid, she replied to her teacher that no, her parents never spend Eid with her. They would only send some new clothes for Eid but never take her back home to at least spend one special day with her siblings.
"They are ashamed of me, Cikgu. The rest of my siblings are normal. I am not. I am ugly"
"No, you are not ugly. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. This year, you will come and spend Eid with me and my family. You are going to be part of my family, ok? My children will be your adik-adik, ok?"
#####
"Yes, I admit, it's not easy to be a teacher for a "special education" class. But being their teacher has taught me lots of things too. And it's difficult not to fall in love with them. I love them all, despite having to deal with stuff teachers in normal schools don't usually deal with. Stuff that usually are reserved for mothers for their small toddlers - cleaning them up, putting their clothes on, feeding them. But they are unique. Truth is they are not "kurang upaya", only "beza upaya." If only we, the so-called 'normal' ones could learn to appreciate them more..."
I have lots of respect for dedicated teachers like Diana.
I wish that all 'special education' children would get the love and attention of at least one teacher like her...
Dush dush...
Conversation during lunch
aezack : My staff had a potluck breakfast this morning
esskay: So, what did you bring.
aezack: Didn't know that they were going to have a potluck breakfast, so did not prepare
anything. Otherwise I might ask bibik to prepare some chicken nuggets or something...
esskay: Oooh, I guess your staff knew that you would only bring chicken nuggets, that's why they didn't inform you earlier that they were going to have a potluck breakfast...
aezack: Oit! Oit! That hurts...
aezack : My staff had a potluck breakfast this morning
esskay: So, what did you bring.
aezack: Didn't know that they were going to have a potluck breakfast, so did not prepare
anything. Otherwise I might ask bibik to prepare some chicken nuggets or something...
esskay: Oooh, I guess your staff knew that you would only bring chicken nuggets, that's why they didn't inform you earlier that they were going to have a potluck breakfast...
aezack: Oit! Oit! That hurts...
Friday, July 03, 2009
"Macam orang biasa je"
Funny how my subordinates - and even peers - reacted when they learned that Mak used to be in a rather senior position before her retirement in the civil service.
"Tapi puan macam orang biasa je..."
"Eh, memanglah saya orang biasa je. Takkan saya mutant pula, orang luar biasa.."
"Isy, taklah. Maksud saya, puan ni anak orang berada tapi macam biasa-biasa je"
#####
Sometimes I wonder what do people expect from the children of ex senior civil servants?
I know that another friend of mine who shares almost similar background with me kept being told that she's "macam orang biasa je" when others find out about her background.
We sometimes asked each other - what are other people's expectation of us?
I mean, okay, our parents used to be in senior position.
And yes, our parents used to make quite a lot compared to others in the civil service.
So?
What is there that make people almost always tell us that we are "macam orang biasa"?
Are we supposed to be unlike "orang biasa"?
Are we expected to be "luar biasa"?
In what way?
It's almost like there are expectation for us to be spoilt brats or the like.
Seriously.
#####
Trust me, there were moments that we wished we are actually "orang biasa-biasa"
The friend I mentioned had trouble persuading the guy she was interested in, that her family had no objection against her marrying him, whose family background is "biasa-biasa saja".
He insisted that only birds of the same feather should fly together.
She was broken hearted.
And remain unmarried until today.
Once a long time ago, I was interested in a guy who hailed from a rural area, who used to rubber-tap and he claimed that his house had no indoor toilet.
I told him that I had no trouble accepting him, his family, his rural way of life and all.
He insisted that I might.
"You've grown accustomed to living in a big house, having a maid, not getting your hands dirty doing nitty gritty stuff. There is no way you could adjust to living the way my family does"
It was really frustrating.
I wanted to give us a chance, but he gave me no real chance to prove myself to him.
All because he believed that I do not come from a "biasa-biasa saja" family background.
#####
It hurts - when one is told by the person she's interested in that they could not be together because she deserves 'someone better'.
It hurts even more - when what he meant by 'better' is only in financial terms.
#####
We have been raised by parents who do not look down upon others because they in turn, were raised by parents who had undergone lots of hardship.
We were made never to forget our roots.
We were made to realize that it's just Allah's rezeki for us and not our own doings that put us in the comfortable zone.
We were trained never to differentiate others because of one's wealth or status.
We were trained to accept others as who they are.
Sometimes it's quite frustrating when others do not accept us for who we are.
But rather, (mis)judge us for who our parents are.
"Tapi puan macam orang biasa je..."
"Eh, memanglah saya orang biasa je. Takkan saya mutant pula, orang luar biasa.."
"Isy, taklah. Maksud saya, puan ni anak orang berada tapi macam biasa-biasa je"
#####
Sometimes I wonder what do people expect from the children of ex senior civil servants?
I know that another friend of mine who shares almost similar background with me kept being told that she's "macam orang biasa je" when others find out about her background.
We sometimes asked each other - what are other people's expectation of us?
I mean, okay, our parents used to be in senior position.
And yes, our parents used to make quite a lot compared to others in the civil service.
So?
What is there that make people almost always tell us that we are "macam orang biasa"?
Are we supposed to be unlike "orang biasa"?
Are we expected to be "luar biasa"?
In what way?
It's almost like there are expectation for us to be spoilt brats or the like.
Seriously.
#####
Trust me, there were moments that we wished we are actually "orang biasa-biasa"
The friend I mentioned had trouble persuading the guy she was interested in, that her family had no objection against her marrying him, whose family background is "biasa-biasa saja".
He insisted that only birds of the same feather should fly together.
She was broken hearted.
And remain unmarried until today.
Once a long time ago, I was interested in a guy who hailed from a rural area, who used to rubber-tap and he claimed that his house had no indoor toilet.
I told him that I had no trouble accepting him, his family, his rural way of life and all.
He insisted that I might.
"You've grown accustomed to living in a big house, having a maid, not getting your hands dirty doing nitty gritty stuff. There is no way you could adjust to living the way my family does"
It was really frustrating.
I wanted to give us a chance, but he gave me no real chance to prove myself to him.
All because he believed that I do not come from a "biasa-biasa saja" family background.
#####
It hurts - when one is told by the person she's interested in that they could not be together because she deserves 'someone better'.
It hurts even more - when what he meant by 'better' is only in financial terms.
#####
We have been raised by parents who do not look down upon others because they in turn, were raised by parents who had undergone lots of hardship.
We were made never to forget our roots.
We were made to realize that it's just Allah's rezeki for us and not our own doings that put us in the comfortable zone.
We were trained never to differentiate others because of one's wealth or status.
We were trained to accept others as who they are.
Sometimes it's quite frustrating when others do not accept us for who we are.
But rather, (mis)judge us for who our parents are.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
The other AHB
* Both my younger brother and I share the same initials - AHB (or AHBB), hence the title
When we were small, people used to ask us - "which one of you is older?".
It could be confusing to others since I call him "Abang" (elder brother) and he calls me "Kak" (elder sister).
That's how we are referred to in the family - I am Kak, he is Abang and our youngest brother, Adik.
Kak. Abang. Adik
(And that's why among the children of our maternal cousins, we're called respectively as Chik Kak, Paman Abang and Paman Adik)
He turned 33 yesterday, on July 1st.
Up until now, most of his friends and colleagues still thought that he is the real "Abang", as in he's the elder brother and I'm his younger sister.
Which could be flattering at times, yet also embarrassing.
Flattering because it might be a sign that I look younger than my age (ehcheh!)
Embarrassing because it might be a sign that I'm not as mature as my own younger brother.
But, never mind.
I'm ok with people mistaken me as the younger sister.
Hihihi.
He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.
Once we swapped clothes.
(Back when we were innocent children who knew nothing about the hadith that forbid us from wearing clothes meant for and imitating opposite gender)
I wore his boy scout uniform
He wore my school uniform, complete with the tudung.
We looked at ourselves in the mirror.
"Hey, I look more handsome than you"
"Hey, I look sweeter than you. See, I have dimples."
Oh well, I don't have dimples.
He won, I guess.
(But seriously, I was more handsome than him in boy scout uniform)
Hehehe.
He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.
We talked about the latest Transformers film.
He already watched it on the opening day, 24th June with his pregnant wife.
When we were small, we used to save our pocket money so that we could buy our own "toys".
(Back in the days when kids watched "cartoons" and not "animated series", and no one understand what "action figure" stands for.)
We were each given 60 sen a day as pocket money - back then, 60 sen was enough to buy a glass of cordial drink (syrup or orange) and a plate of nasi lemak/mee goreng in the school canteen.
We were nuts about Transformers - and challenged each other to save more so that we could buy better 'Transformers toy' than the other.
Being quite tomboyish, I was a big fan of Transformers and M.A.S.K. (Mobile Action Strike Kommand?) and later X-Men.
I remember having this dream of owning the biggest and most complicated 'Transformers toy' so that Abang could no longer beat me in that department.
It took weeks to buy a single toy (the cheapest Transformers action figure cost about RM20 back then, and the most we could save up each week is RM3), so the 'competition' was really tough.
And now, there is no single trace of all those toys we bought back then.
Unless one counts my brother being a producer of animation series as a trace left by his fascination with all those cartoons he watched as a child
Hahaha.
He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.
#####
Happy Birthday my dear brother.
May Allah bless always.
Love you lots (even though I seldom say it in person)
When we were small, people used to ask us - "which one of you is older?".
It could be confusing to others since I call him "Abang" (elder brother) and he calls me "Kak" (elder sister).
That's how we are referred to in the family - I am Kak, he is Abang and our youngest brother, Adik.
Kak. Abang. Adik
(And that's why among the children of our maternal cousins, we're called respectively as Chik Kak, Paman Abang and Paman Adik)
He turned 33 yesterday, on July 1st.
Up until now, most of his friends and colleagues still thought that he is the real "Abang", as in he's the elder brother and I'm his younger sister.
Which could be flattering at times, yet also embarrassing.
Flattering because it might be a sign that I look younger than my age (ehcheh!)
Embarrassing because it might be a sign that I'm not as mature as my own younger brother.
But, never mind.
I'm ok with people mistaken me as the younger sister.
Hihihi.
He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.
Once we swapped clothes.
(Back when we were innocent children who knew nothing about the hadith that forbid us from wearing clothes meant for and imitating opposite gender)
I wore his boy scout uniform
He wore my school uniform, complete with the tudung.
We looked at ourselves in the mirror.
"Hey, I look more handsome than you"
"Hey, I look sweeter than you. See, I have dimples."
Oh well, I don't have dimples.
He won, I guess.
(But seriously, I was more handsome than him in boy scout uniform)
Hehehe.
He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.
We talked about the latest Transformers film.
He already watched it on the opening day, 24th June with his pregnant wife.
When we were small, we used to save our pocket money so that we could buy our own "toys".
(Back in the days when kids watched "cartoons" and not "animated series", and no one understand what "action figure" stands for.)
We were each given 60 sen a day as pocket money - back then, 60 sen was enough to buy a glass of cordial drink (syrup or orange) and a plate of nasi lemak/mee goreng in the school canteen.
We were nuts about Transformers - and challenged each other to save more so that we could buy better 'Transformers toy' than the other.
Being quite tomboyish, I was a big fan of Transformers and M.A.S.K. (Mobile Action Strike Kommand?) and later X-Men.
I remember having this dream of owning the biggest and most complicated 'Transformers toy' so that Abang could no longer beat me in that department.
It took weeks to buy a single toy (the cheapest Transformers action figure cost about RM20 back then, and the most we could save up each week is RM3), so the 'competition' was really tough.
And now, there is no single trace of all those toys we bought back then.
Unless one counts my brother being a producer of animation series as a trace left by his fascination with all those cartoons he watched as a child
Hahaha.
He's 33 now.
Masya Allah, how time flies.
#####
Happy Birthday my dear brother.
May Allah bless always.
Love you lots (even though I seldom say it in person)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Oopss...
He met me after class, in a discreet corner, away from other participants. After all, he himself was not a participant, but rather an observer.
"Puan, yang saya belajar, kalau ada turun gaji, macam ini simulasinya..."
He went on to explain what he'd learned, which was different from what I understood.
"Oh, but what I shared in the class is what I was taught by, hmm, I can't remember who. But that was what I remember. Anyway, I'll check on it. Thank you"
This morning I check it out with two persons - my desk officer and a more senior officer.
He was right.
I made a mistake.
In front of more than 30 headmasters/headmistresses.
Oopss...
Called the organizer.
Explained that I wanted to apologize for making a mistake.
And I explained the real method for him.
He double checked it by citing an example.
I confirmed it.
"Terima kasih puan telefon. Pagi ini bila penceramah lain bercerita macam lain, dah ramai yang keliru. Puan telefon dan jelaskan ini, maknanya samalah dengan apa yang penceramah pagi ini cakap"
Ouch!
* Note to self - next time, stick to the topic given to be on the safe side, and if I want to venture out of the topic a bit, make sure that I'm really well-versed in it. Like - really, really sure.
*More note to self - it's good to have junior officer who cares enough to double check on stuff because the one in a more senior position is not always right. The service could do with having more officers like Norwin.
*One more note to self - if one made a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it and apologize. It might help make things easier for others even without one realizing it.
"Puan, yang saya belajar, kalau ada turun gaji, macam ini simulasinya..."
He went on to explain what he'd learned, which was different from what I understood.
"Oh, but what I shared in the class is what I was taught by, hmm, I can't remember who. But that was what I remember. Anyway, I'll check on it. Thank you"
This morning I check it out with two persons - my desk officer and a more senior officer.
He was right.
I made a mistake.
In front of more than 30 headmasters/headmistresses.
Oopss...
Called the organizer.
Explained that I wanted to apologize for making a mistake.
And I explained the real method for him.
He double checked it by citing an example.
I confirmed it.
"Terima kasih puan telefon. Pagi ini bila penceramah lain bercerita macam lain, dah ramai yang keliru. Puan telefon dan jelaskan ini, maknanya samalah dengan apa yang penceramah pagi ini cakap"
Ouch!
* Note to self - next time, stick to the topic given to be on the safe side, and if I want to venture out of the topic a bit, make sure that I'm really well-versed in it. Like - really, really sure.
*More note to self - it's good to have junior officer who cares enough to double check on stuff because the one in a more senior position is not always right. The service could do with having more officers like Norwin.
*One more note to self - if one made a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it and apologize. It might help make things easier for others even without one realizing it.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tatkala berjauhan*
(* dengan apologi untuk Kak Lela sebab tiru tajuk mula dengan 'tatkala')
We were 24.
She was pregnant with her first child.
Her husband had to go else where for an assignment.
That morning, her eyes were puffy.
From crying too much
"But he would only be gone for how long? 2? 3 nights?"
"Yes, but you don't understand.
I want him to be my side.
I need him to be my side"
"But you've been on your own for over 23 years without him by your side..."
"You don't understand. Only when you're married, you would understand..."
#####
Fast forward 6 years later.
I was pregnant and hubby was not beside me most of the time.
I don't remember having puffy eyes from too much crying because I missed hubby so much.
And it was not an easy pregnancy, what with me being consistently nauseous until the very morning I gave birth.
Then, 11 days after I gave birth, I left Huzaifah with Mak and Ayah.
Hubby was still attending his KPLI course in Terengganu.
I went to Tokyo alone.
Hubby and Huzaifah only joined me 6 months later.
Still, I don't remember having puffy eyes from too much crying because I missed hubby so much.
In fact I remember thinking that I missed my baby more than my hubby.
So what my friend said to me - about understanding her crying until she got puffy eyes because she missed her husband who was away from home for 2-3 nights - eluded me.
#####
Last week, hubby went to Melaka on Saturday, and returned on Sunday evening.
Sunday evening, I took the kids and bibik to P.D. not long after hubby reached home.
But I made it a point to wait for hubby before leaving because I thought he would only get to see us after he's back from Kedah on Thursday.
Monday morning, hubby went to Kedah to join one "panel hakim yang arif lagi bijaksana" in a Majlis Tilawah Al-Quran for "special education" students.
Monday night we returned from P.D.
Tuesday morning, as I entered the office, one EO asked me, "Nanti Puan pergi Melaka ye Khamis ni?"
"Hah?"
I said no, I didn't know anything about going to Melaka, and usually my EO advised me beforehand about my outstation assignments.
Turned out that during my absence on Monday,
it was decided by upper management for me to give a talk on Thursday in Melaka.
Followed by attending a retreat held in the same hotel until Saturday.
Which means, hubby won't be seeing us on Thursday after all.
We will only see each other on Saturday, insya Allah
#####
No, I still don't feel like crying until my eyes went puffy.
I guess I might not be able to understand what my friend felt 10 years ago after all.
Funny thing is, when ever hubby and I are apart like we are now,
I tend to remember the lyrics from one Westlife song...
And I know that I've learned the meaning of "sendiri tapi tak sunyi"
We were 24.
She was pregnant with her first child.
Her husband had to go else where for an assignment.
That morning, her eyes were puffy.
From crying too much
"But he would only be gone for how long? 2? 3 nights?"
"Yes, but you don't understand.
I want him to be my side.
I need him to be my side"
"But you've been on your own for over 23 years without him by your side..."
"You don't understand. Only when you're married, you would understand..."
#####
Fast forward 6 years later.
I was pregnant and hubby was not beside me most of the time.
I don't remember having puffy eyes from too much crying because I missed hubby so much.
And it was not an easy pregnancy, what with me being consistently nauseous until the very morning I gave birth.
Then, 11 days after I gave birth, I left Huzaifah with Mak and Ayah.
Hubby was still attending his KPLI course in Terengganu.
I went to Tokyo alone.
Hubby and Huzaifah only joined me 6 months later.
Still, I don't remember having puffy eyes from too much crying because I missed hubby so much.
In fact I remember thinking that I missed my baby more than my hubby.
So what my friend said to me - about understanding her crying until she got puffy eyes because she missed her husband who was away from home for 2-3 nights - eluded me.
#####
Last week, hubby went to Melaka on Saturday, and returned on Sunday evening.
Sunday evening, I took the kids and bibik to P.D. not long after hubby reached home.
But I made it a point to wait for hubby before leaving because I thought he would only get to see us after he's back from Kedah on Thursday.
Monday morning, hubby went to Kedah to join one "panel hakim yang arif lagi bijaksana" in a Majlis Tilawah Al-Quran for "special education" students.
Monday night we returned from P.D.
Tuesday morning, as I entered the office, one EO asked me, "Nanti Puan pergi Melaka ye Khamis ni?"
"Hah?"
I said no, I didn't know anything about going to Melaka, and usually my EO advised me beforehand about my outstation assignments.
Turned out that during my absence on Monday,
it was decided by upper management for me to give a talk on Thursday in Melaka.
Followed by attending a retreat held in the same hotel until Saturday.
Which means, hubby won't be seeing us on Thursday after all.
We will only see each other on Saturday, insya Allah
#####
No, I still don't feel like crying until my eyes went puffy.
I guess I might not be able to understand what my friend felt 10 years ago after all.
Funny thing is, when ever hubby and I are apart like we are now,
I tend to remember the lyrics from one Westlife song...
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till you're drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes
And I know that I've learned the meaning of "sendiri tapi tak sunyi"
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ping Pong - the pics
Remember how 'teruja' I was last time I played ping-pong?
Here are some pictures of that night.
Proof that I grinned all night long - after 8 years of not playing.
By the way Mida, if one turns partially sideways to the camera, planting one foot in front of the other, it might help making one looks thinner - so please don't be deceived by the second photo, hehehe...
Here are some pictures of that night.
Proof that I grinned all night long - after 8 years of not playing.
By the way Mida, if one turns partially sideways to the camera, planting one foot in front of the other, it might help making one looks thinner - so please don't be deceived by the second photo, hehehe...
Friday, June 19, 2009
Baby Haniyya's new skill
Baby Haniyya has just acquired a new skill.
He now could roll over.
Intentionally (it had happened as 'accidents' before)
Which, right now, merely 2 days after he was circumcised, is not a good thing.
He was circumcised by one Dr Rol (Khairul? Amirul? Azrul?) in Al-Islam Medical Center, formerly known as Kampung Baru Medical Center last Wednesday.
I was in the operation room when they did the 'procedure' on him
It took more than an hour to calm him down after that.
He ended sleeping while "tersedu-sedu".
Must have hurt pretty bad.
Poor baby.
The crying/wailing was really heartbreaking
Poor, poor baby.
(Note to self - next time we want to circumcise a baby boy, do it during the pantang period)
Back to his newly acquired skill.
So he would roll over.
And cried.
Put back in the 'normal' position of lying on his back.
And he would roll over again.
And cried.
It's a vicious circle.
Still, he could meniarap now.
That's a milestone.
Alhamdulillah!
He now could roll over.
Intentionally (it had happened as 'accidents' before)
Which, right now, merely 2 days after he was circumcised, is not a good thing.
He was circumcised by one Dr Rol (Khairul? Amirul? Azrul?) in Al-Islam Medical Center, formerly known as Kampung Baru Medical Center last Wednesday.
I was in the operation room when they did the 'procedure' on him
It took more than an hour to calm him down after that.
He ended sleeping while "tersedu-sedu".
Must have hurt pretty bad.
Poor baby.
The crying/wailing was really heartbreaking
Poor, poor baby.
(Note to self - next time we want to circumcise a baby boy, do it during the pantang period)
Back to his newly acquired skill.
So he would roll over.
And cried.
Put back in the 'normal' position of lying on his back.
And he would roll over again.
And cried.
It's a vicious circle.
Still, he could meniarap now.
That's a milestone.
Alhamdulillah!
Did I hate weddings?
"How did you feel when you went to your friends' wedding as a single?"
"Huh?"
"Did you feel jealous or envious or...?"
"Nooo... Hahaha, why should I feel jealous or envious???"
#####
The way I remember it, I loved going to weddings.
I'm sure Zarin could testify to this. We'd attended so many kenduri's together.
I guess I just enjoyed sharing the happiness of others during the 'big day'.
Back then I could not afford buying expensive gifts, but I believed that being in presence in itself is almost like a present to the couple.
Anyway, weddings make great "mini reunions" - to catch up with others you otherwise don't get to see often.
Other people's wedding receptions could be a good place to start making observations in planning one's own kenduri. You know - stuff like, "make sure there is food for guests who arrive after 4 p.m. even if lauk kenduri is already finished", or "no sound to come blasting from the stereo during azan", or simply "flowergirls should change into 'normal' clothes as soon as the perarakan is over"
No, I don't hate weddings even when I was single and have reached that certain age when nosy people keep pesking "so, when is your turn?"
(The couple should know that they mean a lot to me if I could anticipate those unwanted questions and still drive a long way or even took a flight just to attend their wedding.)
When I attended a wedding as a single, I don't remember feeling jealous or envious of the bride.
I only wished (to no avail) that I would not be asked "so, when are you going to get married?" by others so often.
Anyway, I also remember my automatic answer being "cuti sekolah" or if asked further, "cuti sekolah bulan 12".
I supposed I must have said that more than 40 times because you know what?
I did get married during school holiday in December.
(The automatic answer to the dreaded question could have been a prayer of sort, after all)
So there.
"Huh?"
"Did you feel jealous or envious or...?"
"Nooo... Hahaha, why should I feel jealous or envious???"
#####
The way I remember it, I loved going to weddings.
I'm sure Zarin could testify to this. We'd attended so many kenduri's together.
I guess I just enjoyed sharing the happiness of others during the 'big day'.
Back then I could not afford buying expensive gifts, but I believed that being in presence in itself is almost like a present to the couple.
Anyway, weddings make great "mini reunions" - to catch up with others you otherwise don't get to see often.
Other people's wedding receptions could be a good place to start making observations in planning one's own kenduri. You know - stuff like, "make sure there is food for guests who arrive after 4 p.m. even if lauk kenduri is already finished", or "no sound to come blasting from the stereo during azan", or simply "flowergirls should change into 'normal' clothes as soon as the perarakan is over"
No, I don't hate weddings even when I was single and have reached that certain age when nosy people keep pesking "so, when is your turn?"
(The couple should know that they mean a lot to me if I could anticipate those unwanted questions and still drive a long way or even took a flight just to attend their wedding.)
When I attended a wedding as a single, I don't remember feeling jealous or envious of the bride.
I only wished (to no avail) that I would not be asked "so, when are you going to get married?" by others so often.
Anyway, I also remember my automatic answer being "cuti sekolah" or if asked further, "cuti sekolah bulan 12".
I supposed I must have said that more than 40 times because you know what?
I did get married during school holiday in December.
(The automatic answer to the dreaded question could have been a prayer of sort, after all)
So there.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Cuti-cuti di PD
When we returned to Malaysia late last year, one of the place we visited not long after Raya was PD. We went there together with MIL and third SIL's family.
Last month, during the long weekend of Labor Day, at a last minute notice, my brother Abang, called me up and invited us along with Mak and Ayah to spend the weekend at PD
Last week, as hubby and I realized that we had not bring the kids cuti-cuti elsewhere during the mid-year school holidays, we brought them to (where else but) - PD
#####
When I was small, once in a while, arwah Tok Ayah would take the whole clan - my then still single uncles and aunts and me to Penang. Tok sometimes would invite her brother Tok Chik to join the picnic. Arwah Tok Chik is closer to Ayah's age and his eldest son is my age, so I would have kids my own age to play with. Sometimes, Tok would invite her other brother, Tok Teh, to join the picnic.
As they grew older and began having their own atomic families, my uncles and aunts would go for picnic together in Penang every once in a while. The parents would reminisce their younger days while the kids were busy making their own sweet memories...
Turned out hubby's family too is fond of the beach. Only it's a different one. Since Ayah's family comes from the north, Penang was an obvious spot of choice. Where else, hubby's family lives not that far from Port Dickson, making PD their obvious spot of choice.
#####
I know, I know.
PD is crowded, not as beautiful as it used to be, not as clean as it used to be and might not be the best place to go cuti-cuti.
Still, by looking at my kids' faces enjoying themselves running on the beach, playing with the floaties, tasting the sea water, welcoming the drift of the waves, splashing the water at each other and simply basking in the sun, I couldn't help thinking that (despite all the haze, thinning ozone layer and what nots) there's still something magical about the beach after all...
#####
Last month, during the long weekend of Labor Day, at a last minute notice, my brother Abang, called me up and invited us along with Mak and Ayah to spend the weekend at PD
Last week, as hubby and I realized that we had not bring the kids cuti-cuti elsewhere during the mid-year school holidays, we brought them to (where else but) - PD
#####
When I was small, once in a while, arwah Tok Ayah would take the whole clan - my then still single uncles and aunts and me to Penang. Tok sometimes would invite her brother Tok Chik to join the picnic. Arwah Tok Chik is closer to Ayah's age and his eldest son is my age, so I would have kids my own age to play with. Sometimes, Tok would invite her other brother, Tok Teh, to join the picnic.
As they grew older and began having their own atomic families, my uncles and aunts would go for picnic together in Penang every once in a while. The parents would reminisce their younger days while the kids were busy making their own sweet memories...
Turned out hubby's family too is fond of the beach. Only it's a different one. Since Ayah's family comes from the north, Penang was an obvious spot of choice. Where else, hubby's family lives not that far from Port Dickson, making PD their obvious spot of choice.
#####
I know, I know.
PD is crowded, not as beautiful as it used to be, not as clean as it used to be and might not be the best place to go cuti-cuti.
Still, by looking at my kids' faces enjoying themselves running on the beach, playing with the floaties, tasting the sea water, welcoming the drift of the waves, splashing the water at each other and simply basking in the sun, I couldn't help thinking that (despite all the haze, thinning ozone layer and what nots) there's still something magical about the beach after all...
#####
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Mak betul
"But you never told me that your Mak is not actually your mother"
She was surprised to find out that Mak is not my biological mother.
"So, mak betul you kat mana?," she asked.
Mak betul?
As in my actual mother or my biological mother?
"Mak tu mak betul I lah. Ummi tu mak kandung I."
She was stunned.
#####
I don't know why most people co-relate stepmothers with evilness. I guess that's the reason I don't go around telling others that Mak is my stepmother. I especially dislike it when people make comment such as "tapi Mak you tak macam mak tiri pun".
What does that mean? Does that mean that Mak, as a stepmother must be evil like those stepmothers in folklores? And it's universal too - stepmothers have been described negatively be it in "Cinderella" or "Bawang Putih Bawang Merah".
The stereotyped stepmothers are supposed to be mean, jealous of the child or the child's former mother, unfair in treatment and basically bad, bad, bad. So much so that the Malays describe the act of discriminating as "menganak tirikan"
#####
Muslims have been taught to make do'a for our parents after solat since we were small. The common do'a means "Oh Allah, forgive me for all my sins and forgive all my parents' sins, and show Your mercy upon them as they have shown their mercy for me when I was little"
In my do'a, I used "waliwalidiina" (parents), instead of "waliwalidaina" (two parents). Because I want to make do'a not only for my two biological parents, but also to extend the same love and courtesy to my non-biological parent, Mak. It is a 'standing order' of some sort - that when I make do'a for "waliwalidiina' then I pray that the do'a will also includes Mak.
#####
What Is A Mother?
A mother is someone to shelter and guide us,
To love us, whatever we do,
With a warm understanding and infinite patience
And wonderful gentleness, too.
How often a mother means swift reassurance
In soothing our small, childish fears,
How tenderly mothers watch over their children
And treasure them all through the years!
The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness
For any mistake, big or small,
And generous always in helping her family,
Whose needs she has placed above all.
A mother can utter a word of compassion
And make all our cares fall away,
She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter
And make life delightful and gay.
A mother possesses incredible wisdom
And wonderful insight and skill
In each human heart is that one special corner
Which only a mother can fill!
- Katherine Nelson Davis
#####
If you asked me, the image of the mother (as referred to in the poem) in my mind is Mak.
If you asked me, my "mak betul" is Mak.
To me, she is my actual mother, who did and still do, all the mothering (and grandmothering too)
She was surprised to find out that Mak is not my biological mother.
"So, mak betul you kat mana?," she asked.
Mak betul?
As in my actual mother or my biological mother?
"Mak tu mak betul I lah. Ummi tu mak kandung I."
She was stunned.
#####
I don't know why most people co-relate stepmothers with evilness. I guess that's the reason I don't go around telling others that Mak is my stepmother. I especially dislike it when people make comment such as "tapi Mak you tak macam mak tiri pun".
What does that mean? Does that mean that Mak, as a stepmother must be evil like those stepmothers in folklores? And it's universal too - stepmothers have been described negatively be it in "Cinderella" or "Bawang Putih Bawang Merah".
The stereotyped stepmothers are supposed to be mean, jealous of the child or the child's former mother, unfair in treatment and basically bad, bad, bad. So much so that the Malays describe the act of discriminating as "menganak tirikan"
#####
Muslims have been taught to make do'a for our parents after solat since we were small. The common do'a means "Oh Allah, forgive me for all my sins and forgive all my parents' sins, and show Your mercy upon them as they have shown their mercy for me when I was little"
In my do'a, I used "waliwalidiina" (parents), instead of "waliwalidaina" (two parents). Because I want to make do'a not only for my two biological parents, but also to extend the same love and courtesy to my non-biological parent, Mak. It is a 'standing order' of some sort - that when I make do'a for "waliwalidiina' then I pray that the do'a will also includes Mak.
#####
What Is A Mother?
A mother is someone to shelter and guide us,
To love us, whatever we do,
With a warm understanding and infinite patience
And wonderful gentleness, too.
How often a mother means swift reassurance
In soothing our small, childish fears,
How tenderly mothers watch over their children
And treasure them all through the years!
The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness
For any mistake, big or small,
And generous always in helping her family,
Whose needs she has placed above all.
A mother can utter a word of compassion
And make all our cares fall away,
She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter
And make life delightful and gay.
A mother possesses incredible wisdom
And wonderful insight and skill
In each human heart is that one special corner
Which only a mother can fill!
- Katherine Nelson Davis
#####
If you asked me, the image of the mother (as referred to in the poem) in my mind is Mak.
If you asked me, my "mak betul" is Mak.
To me, she is my actual mother, who did and still do, all the mothering (and grandmothering too)
How critical it is?
Dear Jaja,
You asked me how many kilograms I have gained.
Well, to put it simply - a lot.
Look at it this way.
Back when I was in secondary school my BMI was always below 18.
I could eat a lot and would never gain a pound.
I thought I would never be 'va-va-voom' in any way, I was just too skinny.
Then, as I left high school, I began to gain a bit.
My BMI back then was about 20.
My weight was considered normal and I was glad.
When you knew me back in the old office, by then my BMI was about 21.
I could still eat a lot without putting on weight.
I guess my metabolism rate at that time was quite high, kot.
When I was in Tokyo, after giving birth to Huzaifah and even after giving birth to Humaidi,
my BMI remained at 22-24.
It might have to do with the fact that I used to cycle or walk here and there.
I was also living on the 5th floor with no elevator, so yes, I guess 'exercise' was part of my daily routine whether or not I took it as exercise.
When I returned from Tokyo, I was pregnant with Haniyya.
And I found myself craving for all kind of food and I gained weight "tak hengat punya".
And you know how difficult it is to shed some pounds after giving birth.
Especially if one is breastfeeding.
Now my dear Jaja, my BMI is 27.9
Yes, I'm overweight.
Weight is one thing. Fitness is another.
I know I'm not fit right now.
And not being fit means I get tired easily and find it difficult to cope with two boisterous toddlers and one baby.
So, I know I have to do something about it.
Immediately.
So, I've taken up your advise to start walking.
Walking, cycling and stair climbing - all in all in about 45 minutes.
Plus some gym exercise especially meant to target the abs, upper leg and back areas.
I've heard that it's easier to get into a new exercise regime when you have an exercise partner,
thus I'm glad my hubby is giving his support by going to gym together.
We are trying to commit ourselves to two nights per week, which I think is doable.
And in between I would try to do light exercises at home.
It's okay if it takes time to shed some pounds.
I'm not looking for immediate results.
Otherwise I might as well take up all those slimming programs offered by 'slimming centres'
Hubby and I are taking this as a personal challenge of sort.
When we were in Tokyo, we used to ask ourselves what we would do to prevent our muscles from turning into fat.
Hubby got himself a foldable mountain bike (which was also a farewell gift from Koseki-san, the detective who used to visit us a lot in Masjid Asakusa) as an incentive to continue exercising in Malaysia - but he rarely use it.
So, now we are trying to discipline ourselves to go to the gym at least two nights a week - to lose weight and to get fitter.
Please make do'a for us that we'll stay focused and committed, and I believe I'll be asking for tips from you, from time to time.
P/S: Kit, it's not that I think I look bad. It's just that I need to be more active to keep up with the boys - and you know how lasak my boys can be...
You asked me how many kilograms I have gained.
Well, to put it simply - a lot.
Look at it this way.
Back when I was in secondary school my BMI was always below 18.
I could eat a lot and would never gain a pound.
I thought I would never be 'va-va-voom' in any way, I was just too skinny.
Then, as I left high school, I began to gain a bit.
My BMI back then was about 20.
My weight was considered normal and I was glad.
When you knew me back in the old office, by then my BMI was about 21.
I could still eat a lot without putting on weight.
I guess my metabolism rate at that time was quite high, kot.
When I was in Tokyo, after giving birth to Huzaifah and even after giving birth to Humaidi,
my BMI remained at 22-24.
It might have to do with the fact that I used to cycle or walk here and there.
I was also living on the 5th floor with no elevator, so yes, I guess 'exercise' was part of my daily routine whether or not I took it as exercise.
When I returned from Tokyo, I was pregnant with Haniyya.
And I found myself craving for all kind of food and I gained weight "tak hengat punya".
And you know how difficult it is to shed some pounds after giving birth.
Especially if one is breastfeeding.
Now my dear Jaja, my BMI is 27.9
Yes, I'm overweight.
Weight is one thing. Fitness is another.
I know I'm not fit right now.
And not being fit means I get tired easily and find it difficult to cope with two boisterous toddlers and one baby.
So, I know I have to do something about it.
Immediately.
So, I've taken up your advise to start walking.
Walking, cycling and stair climbing - all in all in about 45 minutes.
Plus some gym exercise especially meant to target the abs, upper leg and back areas.
I've heard that it's easier to get into a new exercise regime when you have an exercise partner,
thus I'm glad my hubby is giving his support by going to gym together.
We are trying to commit ourselves to two nights per week, which I think is doable.
And in between I would try to do light exercises at home.
It's okay if it takes time to shed some pounds.
I'm not looking for immediate results.
Otherwise I might as well take up all those slimming programs offered by 'slimming centres'
Hubby and I are taking this as a personal challenge of sort.
When we were in Tokyo, we used to ask ourselves what we would do to prevent our muscles from turning into fat.
Hubby got himself a foldable mountain bike (which was also a farewell gift from Koseki-san, the detective who used to visit us a lot in Masjid Asakusa) as an incentive to continue exercising in Malaysia - but he rarely use it.
So, now we are trying to discipline ourselves to go to the gym at least two nights a week - to lose weight and to get fitter.
Please make do'a for us that we'll stay focused and committed, and I believe I'll be asking for tips from you, from time to time.
P/S: Kit, it's not that I think I look bad. It's just that I need to be more active to keep up with the boys - and you know how lasak my boys can be...
Monday, June 08, 2009
Let's go to the gym
"No, you don't go and waste your money on buying those exercise machine. You will end up not using it because you can always tell yourself that there'll be time for you to use it later, but you'll never use it. You'll never make time. If you want to start exercising, you can start by brisk walking or jogging. You don't have to buy an exercise machine."
So said Mak, a big fan of "The Biggest Loser", the reality tv show on people losing their weight.
Well, I must admit that I'm facing a weight issue right now. And the idea of buying an exercise machine to kickstart an exercise regime of sort did hit my head.
"My dear Kak, you don't need to spend a single sen. You already have sports attire. You already have suitable shoes. You just need to push yourself. Just get up and get out of the house, don't keep lazing around sleeping or doing nothing..."
Well, you know how it is with people who are not THAT motivated yet - there are always excuses...
Why don't I jog in the morning?
Because there are anjing liar in the vicinity in early morning.
Why don't I jog in the evening?
Because it's near maghrib by the time I reach home and tak elok keluar waktu maghrib-maghrib, kan.
Yes, I know.
Excuses, excuses.
Anyway, we've just joined a health related program which allow us to make use of gymnasium and swimming pool facilities for a long time. It's not that near yet not so far from Putrajaya. Hubby is thinking of going to the gym regularly. I told him I would like to go with him too. When we went there yesterday, it was not crowded at all. From the eye of an amateur, the equipments there seem sufficient to help me shed some pounds off, including working on toning specific 'target areas'. And it might be fun to work out with and along hubby.
So, let's go to the gym, and we'll see how things go, yeah?
Now, hubby and I just need to motivate ourselves to get up and get out of the house...
(Pst pst, Dikja, tolong... need tips and recommendations on gym-related exercises...)
So said Mak, a big fan of "The Biggest Loser", the reality tv show on people losing their weight.
Well, I must admit that I'm facing a weight issue right now. And the idea of buying an exercise machine to kickstart an exercise regime of sort did hit my head.
"My dear Kak, you don't need to spend a single sen. You already have sports attire. You already have suitable shoes. You just need to push yourself. Just get up and get out of the house, don't keep lazing around sleeping or doing nothing..."
Well, you know how it is with people who are not THAT motivated yet - there are always excuses...
Why don't I jog in the morning?
Because there are anjing liar in the vicinity in early morning.
Why don't I jog in the evening?
Because it's near maghrib by the time I reach home and tak elok keluar waktu maghrib-maghrib, kan.
Yes, I know.
Excuses, excuses.
Anyway, we've just joined a health related program which allow us to make use of gymnasium and swimming pool facilities for a long time. It's not that near yet not so far from Putrajaya. Hubby is thinking of going to the gym regularly. I told him I would like to go with him too. When we went there yesterday, it was not crowded at all. From the eye of an amateur, the equipments there seem sufficient to help me shed some pounds off, including working on toning specific 'target areas'. And it might be fun to work out with and along hubby.
So, let's go to the gym, and we'll see how things go, yeah?
Now, hubby and I just need to motivate ourselves to get up and get out of the house...
(Pst pst, Dikja, tolong... need tips and recommendations on gym-related exercises...)
Ping Pong
Friday, returned home earlier than usual.
Had a friendly ping-pong match with Petaling District Office, held in Subang, next to Subang Parade
Was the only female player in the team.
Hadn't played ping-pong for about 8 years.
"Takpa puan, kalau puan dah ada asas tu ok dah tu. Bahagian lain ramai (peserta wanita) yang pertama kali main," or so I was told by the Kapitan.
The inter-departmental ping-pong tournament in the office will begin soon. Since our department had already won a few other tournaments, the Kapitan for ping-pong team feels that we should also win (or at least be among the top 3 in) the inter-departmental tournament.
Being the only female player, I was asked to play in the mixed double. I said okay. Long, long ago, I always preferred playing single, but there's no 'female single' in the team - two male singles, two male doubles and one mixed double. So there.
Anyway, (after much cajoling) hubby accompanied me to Subang, to attend the event. Met up with Nana, the female player in Petaling District Office team. And had lots of fun playing ping-pong that night. My partner and I lost our game, but our team won the match 3-2.
"Puan kata dah tak main 8 tahun, tapi tengok ok je," my partner commented.
I grinned. "Betul saya dah lama tak main. Kalau tak, mungkin ada harapan kita boleh menang, hehehe"
True, I need to do lots of training to get back 'the touch'. Just bought a pen-hold ping-pong bat the other day because I'm hopeless with double sided bat. I did not buy a Nittaku bat, since Jusco only had Stiga bats in stock, which was okay with me so long as it's a pen-hold bat.
"Turun la Aras 1, kita training tiap-tiap petang," he continued.
"Insya Allah. Saya pun memang kena rajin practise balik ni... Dah lama sangat tinggalkan, nak kena pick up balik skill lama"
It's something like riding a bicycle. You might not forget how to do it, but doing it after so long of no practice does not necessarily means you can be good at it immediately.
Still, after 8 years of not playing, I had a lot of fun that night, playing on "suka-suka" basis with Nana.
Memang suka lah!
Trivia:
I started playing ping-pong when I was 11. I was in my primary school team as a reserved player.
Ping-pong is one of two games I really play - the other being field hockey. I can play badminton as a social player, played netball for my old office as a 'bidan terjun', hopeless at volleyball, even more hopeless at basketball.
My two brothers are not bad at ping-pong too. Adik especially, since he used to play for the district at state level when he was in primary school (the same primary school I attended)
Had a friendly ping-pong match with Petaling District Office, held in Subang, next to Subang Parade
Was the only female player in the team.
Hadn't played ping-pong for about 8 years.
"Takpa puan, kalau puan dah ada asas tu ok dah tu. Bahagian lain ramai (peserta wanita) yang pertama kali main," or so I was told by the Kapitan.
The inter-departmental ping-pong tournament in the office will begin soon. Since our department had already won a few other tournaments, the Kapitan for ping-pong team feels that we should also win (or at least be among the top 3 in) the inter-departmental tournament.
Being the only female player, I was asked to play in the mixed double. I said okay. Long, long ago, I always preferred playing single, but there's no 'female single' in the team - two male singles, two male doubles and one mixed double. So there.
Anyway, (after much cajoling) hubby accompanied me to Subang, to attend the event. Met up with Nana, the female player in Petaling District Office team. And had lots of fun playing ping-pong that night. My partner and I lost our game, but our team won the match 3-2.
"Puan kata dah tak main 8 tahun, tapi tengok ok je," my partner commented.
I grinned. "Betul saya dah lama tak main. Kalau tak, mungkin ada harapan kita boleh menang, hehehe"
True, I need to do lots of training to get back 'the touch'. Just bought a pen-hold ping-pong bat the other day because I'm hopeless with double sided bat. I did not buy a Nittaku bat, since Jusco only had Stiga bats in stock, which was okay with me so long as it's a pen-hold bat.
"Turun la Aras 1, kita training tiap-tiap petang," he continued.
"Insya Allah. Saya pun memang kena rajin practise balik ni... Dah lama sangat tinggalkan, nak kena pick up balik skill lama"
It's something like riding a bicycle. You might not forget how to do it, but doing it after so long of no practice does not necessarily means you can be good at it immediately.
Still, after 8 years of not playing, I had a lot of fun that night, playing on "suka-suka" basis with Nana.
Memang suka lah!
Trivia:
I started playing ping-pong when I was 11. I was in my primary school team as a reserved player.
Ping-pong is one of two games I really play - the other being field hockey. I can play badminton as a social player, played netball for my old office as a 'bidan terjun', hopeless at volleyball, even more hopeless at basketball.
My two brothers are not bad at ping-pong too. Adik especially, since he used to play for the district at state level when he was in primary school (the same primary school I attended)
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
5 tahun dah?
"Look Again" turned 5 years old today.
5 years.
Honestly, it doesn't feel like I've been blogging that long.
And actually, when I miscarried, I felt like stopping this blog too.
But now I'm glad I didn't stop blogging.
I started this blog to seek some self-satisfaction, some comfort in knowing that my voice is heard, my thoughts are shared...
#####
When we were in Dungun, we first got a double room villa.
One room is a twin room, while the other equipped with a double bed.
We had to share one bathroom which Mak described as "macam bilik air rumah tumpangan Ah Seng".
There was a spacious "living area", the reason for which why we were charged RM250, where else a standard room would only cost RM100.
Mak asked for a change - so that we could be assigned to two standard rooms, each with its own bathroom (but no 'living area', which were fine with me since having such area only means bigger space for Huzaifah & Humaidi to 'lompat-panjat-guling-guling', and cause headache for the adults).
There were vacancies, so we moved into two standard rooms, with air-conditioning that worked better than the ones in the earlier 'villa' and better bathrooms too.
"I don't understand why you didn't complain and asked for a change sooner," Mak said. We waited to see if the air-cond would turn cooler first before asking for the 'transfer' into standard rooms. And there were no intercom/in-house phone, so we had to walk a few blocks to the reception area to ask for the 'transfer'.
"It takes so little to please you, Kak"
"Which could be seen as a positive or negative trait under different circumstances," I replied.
#####
It's true.
It doesn't take much to please me.
I've been blogging for 5 years.
I've shared part of my life - since I was single until I'm a mother of three.
I've shared some tips as a Muslim Malaysian living in Tokyo, Japan.
I've shared some tips on how to score in PAC (this entry is one of Look Again's all-time top hits entry)
I only have 5 followers (1 for each year?),
but I'm pleased.
I know I'm not in any way a "blogger tegar",
but I guess I've found my own niche audience,
and for that I'm grateful.
Alhamdulillah.
5 years.
Honestly, it doesn't feel like I've been blogging that long.
And actually, when I miscarried, I felt like stopping this blog too.
But now I'm glad I didn't stop blogging.
I started this blog to seek some self-satisfaction, some comfort in knowing that my voice is heard, my thoughts are shared...
#####
When we were in Dungun, we first got a double room villa.
One room is a twin room, while the other equipped with a double bed.
We had to share one bathroom which Mak described as "macam bilik air rumah tumpangan Ah Seng".
There was a spacious "living area", the reason for which why we were charged RM250, where else a standard room would only cost RM100.
Mak asked for a change - so that we could be assigned to two standard rooms, each with its own bathroom (but no 'living area', which were fine with me since having such area only means bigger space for Huzaifah & Humaidi to 'lompat-panjat-guling-guling', and cause headache for the adults).
There were vacancies, so we moved into two standard rooms, with air-conditioning that worked better than the ones in the earlier 'villa' and better bathrooms too.
"I don't understand why you didn't complain and asked for a change sooner," Mak said. We waited to see if the air-cond would turn cooler first before asking for the 'transfer' into standard rooms. And there were no intercom/in-house phone, so we had to walk a few blocks to the reception area to ask for the 'transfer'.
"It takes so little to please you, Kak"
"Which could be seen as a positive or negative trait under different circumstances," I replied.
#####
It's true.
It doesn't take much to please me.
I've been blogging for 5 years.
I've shared part of my life - since I was single until I'm a mother of three.
I've shared some tips as a Muslim Malaysian living in Tokyo, Japan.
I've shared some tips on how to score in PAC (this entry is one of Look Again's all-time top hits entry)
I only have 5 followers (1 for each year?),
but I'm pleased.
I know I'm not in any way a "blogger tegar",
but I guess I've found my own niche audience,
and for that I'm grateful.
Alhamdulillah.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Demanding beggars
Kak Lela's musings on this remind me of my own experience meeting a few demanding beggars in Tokyo.
#####
One is a repeated case.
We met Abe-san for the first time in Ramadhan. He came to Asakusa Mosque at about Maghrib. I remember spending a long time answering and responding to his many queries on Islam. He said something along the line of "I like Islam because Muslim helps each other, Muslims are asked to be generous in charity". He said that he's thinking of converting and promised to return to the mosque a few days after Eid for formal conversion. Towards the end of our conversation, he asked for 10,000 yen to help him settle some bills and rent
10,000 yen. That's more than RM300.
Hubby looked at I. I looked back at him. We did not dare to use the mosque's money, so we gave him our own money. With husnun zan, we gave him 2,000 yen. We invited him for dinner which he gladly accepted.
Since then there were several subsequent visits. Everytime he came, he would ask for some amount of money - ranging from 5,000 to 10,000 yen- which he claimed he needed for electricity bills, for water bills, for rental. The last time he came, he even asked for 2000 yen so that he could get new passport sized photographs (since we need 2 passport sized photos for New Muslim certificate). The amount we gave him subsided from 2,000 yen to just 500 yen. I remember telling him that he didn't need 2000 yen for passport sized photographs, he could find a passport photo-producing kiosk nearby which charged only 500 yen, so that's all we would give him.
He never returned since then. But the most memorable thing I remember about Abe-san was that he never turned down any offer for meal at our house. He even ate a tamar (date) unpitted once to our amazement.
#####
Then, there's the case of one drunken guy posing as Muslim asking for money, food and shelter.
That night, Faizly, hubby, the kids and I returned from some place (mana aah, tak ingat pulak, but it was late and we were really tired), we found a man in the stairs area. I can't remember what exactly the nihonjin wanted, but I remember being the one who suggested for him to go up to our house on the fifth floor. Faizly, who acted as the spokeperson made a face but I didn't realize it until later, when I get to be near the man myself. He smelled really 'hamis', the smell of a drunkard.
He claimed that he was a Muslim, saying his name was so and so (I-can't-remember-what-but-it-definitely-did-not-sound-like-a-true-Muslim-name). Claimed that it was late and he needed to go back to some place quite far and he didn't have any money. He asked for 5000 yen as 'tambang'.
5000 yen. That's more than RM150
I remember Faizly tried telling him no nicely, that we could not afford giving him that much. He insisted. And kept on insisting.
Finally we said we could give him 1,000 yen. And no, he could not spend the night in the mosque, since we only allow those who got permission from the ICOJ committee to spend a night in the mosque.
"Can I stay at your place then?"
"NOOOO...", Faizly and I answered simultaneously. No way I was going to let that smelly drunkard spending a night in our house.
It was cold outside and he kept talking so that he could be inside our home longer. He asked for food, we took pity on him and cooked him a bowl of instant noodle (we already had dinner outside). He kept on asking if we could allow him to stay in the house for the night after he finished the instant noodle.
By then Faizly was beginning to get mad at him (we were tired after all and it was getting really late).
"Please take the 1000 yen and leave. Or do you want me to call the police nearby to ask you to leave?"
Upon hearing the word 'keisatsu' (police), kelam-kabut he left after that.
So there, our brush with "demanding beggars" in Tokyo. I guess it might be true that beggars in bigger cities could be more 'demanding' than their counterparts in smaller cities, after all.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Macam dulu-dulu
I had to go to Dungun, until Monday.
He had to go to Ipoh, until Thursday.
C'est la vie.
We knew before that this is what in store for a family with two working parents
He misses the kids.
It's good that Huzaifah is becoming better at 'sembang-sembang', but Humaidi still looks confused everytime the phone (on speaker mode) is passed to him.
Like he's wondering "how did Ayah manage to get into such a small thing to talk to me?".
On the other hand, when he is in the mood to 'mengoceh', Humaidi uses a lot of thing as imaginary telephone - his dad's shoe brush, the TV remote control or a toy. He would happily says "hello" and smiles before he starts babbling away.
Anyway, back to the kids' dad.
He sent 'miss u' sms, and gave missed calls in the middle of the night.
Just to make me smile. And smile I did. A lot.
They said that to keep gluing a family together, it's good for the spouses to be away from each other every now and then.
So that absence makes the heart grow fonder - not out of sight, out of mind.
I know that it works for us - it's been awhile since we last sent 'miss u' sms or missed calls to each other.
And now, those little things make me smile.
We might be away from each other, but our thoughts are with each other.
And we can't wait to see each other again.
Can't wait to just be with each other again.
Macam dulu-dulu
He had to go to Ipoh, until Thursday.
C'est la vie.
We knew before that this is what in store for a family with two working parents
He misses the kids.
It's good that Huzaifah is becoming better at 'sembang-sembang', but Humaidi still looks confused everytime the phone (on speaker mode) is passed to him.
Like he's wondering "how did Ayah manage to get into such a small thing to talk to me?".
On the other hand, when he is in the mood to 'mengoceh', Humaidi uses a lot of thing as imaginary telephone - his dad's shoe brush, the TV remote control or a toy. He would happily says "hello" and smiles before he starts babbling away.
Anyway, back to the kids' dad.
He sent 'miss u' sms, and gave missed calls in the middle of the night.
Just to make me smile. And smile I did. A lot.
They said that to keep gluing a family together, it's good for the spouses to be away from each other every now and then.
So that absence makes the heart grow fonder - not out of sight, out of mind.
I know that it works for us - it's been awhile since we last sent 'miss u' sms or missed calls to each other.
And now, those little things make me smile.
We might be away from each other, but our thoughts are with each other.
And we can't wait to see each other again.
Can't wait to just be with each other again.
Macam dulu-dulu
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Ole-ole dari Terengganu
Jue,
Dodol, dodol pandan, lempuk durian
Saja nak usik hang, tengok kecur ke tak...
Dodol, dodol pandan, lempuk durianKeropok Lekor (cicah dah abih)
Kuih Semar aka Sarang Burung
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Nak bisnes ke tak?
(Note: Mak's musing on Huzaifah's and Humadi's antics on the car can be read here)
It was frustrating.
I found a nice pair of pyjamas, in Huzaifah's size, in the "buy 1 get 1 free" bargain bin. Asked the sales assistant what's the price of the pyjamas since there was no price tag. She took the pyjamas, tried to find a price tag (which I already did), failed (just like I did) and asked me to check with the cashier.
Went to the cashier and asked her to check for the price of the pyjamas. She tried to look for a price tag to scan, did not find one and said, "Sorry, I don't know the price".
"Can you please check it in the register or something?"
"Ok, let me try."
She asked the sales assistant, who was not far from me (it was only a small shop in Kuala Terengganu after all), who just shrugged and answered she didn't know the price. She did not check for other similar pairs in the bargain bin. She did not bother checking with a price list book/register or something. She just shrugged and said "dok tau".
The cashier shrugged and said sorry, they don't know the price (so I couldn't buy it)
Okay, maybe they did not bother trying harder because it was not their shop. So, they lost a customer, so what? They still get their salary by the end of the month, so who cares, right?
But really, it was kind of frustrating.
(By the way, Ayah had a similar experience in a warung earlier on. He thought of stopping for keropok lekor and air nyiur on a road side stall, but the shopkeeper was keener on keeping on chatting with other customer than greeting new ones. When Ayah asked what they were selling, the shopkeeper just shrugged. Ayah immediately left the warung.)
Nota kaki:
* Mayang Sari Resort in Dungun might lack in terms of services, but the food there is not bad, not bad at all.
* While in Terengganu, try not to miss trying out KLCC and ICT...
That's "Keropok Lekor Cicah Cuka" and "Ikan Celup Tepung".
* They are still selling ice cream potong for 20 sen in Terengganu. Seriously! It was so unbeliaveably cheap, I gave a second look at the seller when she answered "dua poseng" when I asked for the price. The same ice-cream might have costed 60 or 80 sen in KL
It was frustrating.
I found a nice pair of pyjamas, in Huzaifah's size, in the "buy 1 get 1 free" bargain bin. Asked the sales assistant what's the price of the pyjamas since there was no price tag. She took the pyjamas, tried to find a price tag (which I already did), failed (just like I did) and asked me to check with the cashier.
Went to the cashier and asked her to check for the price of the pyjamas. She tried to look for a price tag to scan, did not find one and said, "Sorry, I don't know the price".
"Can you please check it in the register or something?"
"Ok, let me try."
She asked the sales assistant, who was not far from me (it was only a small shop in Kuala Terengganu after all), who just shrugged and answered she didn't know the price. She did not check for other similar pairs in the bargain bin. She did not bother checking with a price list book/register or something. She just shrugged and said "dok tau".
The cashier shrugged and said sorry, they don't know the price (so I couldn't buy it)
Okay, maybe they did not bother trying harder because it was not their shop. So, they lost a customer, so what? They still get their salary by the end of the month, so who cares, right?
But really, it was kind of frustrating.
(By the way, Ayah had a similar experience in a warung earlier on. He thought of stopping for keropok lekor and air nyiur on a road side stall, but the shopkeeper was keener on keeping on chatting with other customer than greeting new ones. When Ayah asked what they were selling, the shopkeeper just shrugged. Ayah immediately left the warung.)
Nota kaki:
* Mayang Sari Resort in Dungun might lack in terms of services, but the food there is not bad, not bad at all.
* While in Terengganu, try not to miss trying out KLCC and ICT...
That's "Keropok Lekor Cicah Cuka" and "Ikan Celup Tepung".
* They are still selling ice cream potong for 20 sen in Terengganu. Seriously! It was so unbeliaveably cheap, I gave a second look at the seller when she answered "dua poseng" when I asked for the price. The same ice-cream might have costed 60 or 80 sen in KL
Friday, May 22, 2009
Notes for her (& self)
You asked me how did I cope, so here are some pointers which I hope you can benefit from. Some of these pointers, I've learned from reading, some by observing others and some as told by others. These are only my pointers - they might or might not work with you, but you asked me for these, so here they are...
* Remember that our husband is not the ultimate "tempat bergantung". The ultimate "tempat bergantung" is with Allah. So, in trying time, seek Allah's help, let it all out to Allah - He is always there for us. Husband and kids after all, are only "temporary loans" from Allah. He could take them back any time He wants to, hence we have to surrender it all to Allah.
* We may not be able to change our partner's unpleasant attitude, so what we can do is to make do'a that he will change for the better some day. Never underestimate the power of do'a for Allah is Most Listening.
*Although we can't change him, we can change our own perceptions and reactions. Like, when we can't make him share household chores, then, maybe we can remind ourselves that we are doing all these out of love and charity. Without the "nawaitu" of doing them as "sadaqah", it might seem burdensome, but if we look at them as an investment of sort for us later in the hereafter, maybe the chores will be less burdensome...
* Try to be more creative in meeting his and our own irks and quirks. If he keeps using the towel put on the bed meant for your own use after the shower, start putting two towels. If he keeps using your mug in the morning, buy two similar mugs. (But do kindly ask him to use his own toothbrush)
* Just do what needs to get done. Dishes and dirty clothes find a way to multiply if they are left unattended. Try not to spend more time putting off the job than it would actually take if you just do it. Instead of making the bad seem worse, and your relationship more strained in the process (because he did not do them when it was his turn to do so), not to mention wasting precious time - just do what needs to be done.
* Compliment him on his achievements when he gets stuff done in the house, especially those he did out of his own initiatives. Remember that guys prefer us to remember them as the knight in shining armor, so chances are if we keep polishing those armor, he might want to keep being in his 'shining armor' behaviour.
* In trying times, keep reminding ourselves of his positive traits. Well, he might sleep a little extra, or have time to stay awake for soccer at midnight but not for chores, or play games on our phones but forget to recharge them - but at other times, he cooks, or massages, or change the baby's diapers, or tidy up the house. Most of all, he stays loyal to us and love us for who we are.
* In trying times, before we "terlepas cakap", ask ourselves would we say such thing if he's not going to be with us tomorrow? Many wives realized their own weaknesses and became more forgiving of their husbands after they were left by the husbands. We should be forgiving when we are still with each other, and try to keep making the relationship better and healthier.
* When we give, don't expect any return. Let Allah do all the 'calculation'. It is not for us to say that we are doing a lot more when he is doing little or nothing. If we keep on "mengungkit", a lot of things might amount to nothing, yet when he does a little, but sincerely and with all his heart, it might counts more. Let Allah do all the 'calculation', we just keep on giving what we can. After all, it is always better to give than to receive, right?
* Remember that our husband is not the ultimate "tempat bergantung". The ultimate "tempat bergantung" is with Allah. So, in trying time, seek Allah's help, let it all out to Allah - He is always there for us. Husband and kids after all, are only "temporary loans" from Allah. He could take them back any time He wants to, hence we have to surrender it all to Allah.
* We may not be able to change our partner's unpleasant attitude, so what we can do is to make do'a that he will change for the better some day. Never underestimate the power of do'a for Allah is Most Listening.
*Although we can't change him, we can change our own perceptions and reactions. Like, when we can't make him share household chores, then, maybe we can remind ourselves that we are doing all these out of love and charity. Without the "nawaitu" of doing them as "sadaqah", it might seem burdensome, but if we look at them as an investment of sort for us later in the hereafter, maybe the chores will be less burdensome...
* Try to be more creative in meeting his and our own irks and quirks. If he keeps using the towel put on the bed meant for your own use after the shower, start putting two towels. If he keeps using your mug in the morning, buy two similar mugs. (But do kindly ask him to use his own toothbrush)
* Just do what needs to get done. Dishes and dirty clothes find a way to multiply if they are left unattended. Try not to spend more time putting off the job than it would actually take if you just do it. Instead of making the bad seem worse, and your relationship more strained in the process (because he did not do them when it was his turn to do so), not to mention wasting precious time - just do what needs to be done.
* Compliment him on his achievements when he gets stuff done in the house, especially those he did out of his own initiatives. Remember that guys prefer us to remember them as the knight in shining armor, so chances are if we keep polishing those armor, he might want to keep being in his 'shining armor' behaviour.
* In trying times, keep reminding ourselves of his positive traits. Well, he might sleep a little extra, or have time to stay awake for soccer at midnight but not for chores, or play games on our phones but forget to recharge them - but at other times, he cooks, or massages, or change the baby's diapers, or tidy up the house. Most of all, he stays loyal to us and love us for who we are.
* In trying times, before we "terlepas cakap", ask ourselves would we say such thing if he's not going to be with us tomorrow? Many wives realized their own weaknesses and became more forgiving of their husbands after they were left by the husbands. We should be forgiving when we are still with each other, and try to keep making the relationship better and healthier.
* When we give, don't expect any return. Let Allah do all the 'calculation'. It is not for us to say that we are doing a lot more when he is doing little or nothing. If we keep on "mengungkit", a lot of things might amount to nothing, yet when he does a little, but sincerely and with all his heart, it might counts more. Let Allah do all the 'calculation', we just keep on giving what we can. After all, it is always better to give than to receive, right?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Notes for him
"I feel abandoned. He makes time for his buddies, he has time to watch tv after work, he doesn't mind taking office stuff back home, but he doesn't really care about me. Or else he would've contributed more at home and really make time for me. They said that husbands and wives should be each other's garment, but I don't feel warm and protected by mine."
"Sometimes, I just feel like crap because I work hard too, I have sacrificed too, and I am fried too, and while I do things for him, it feels like he never thinks to do anything just because it needs to get done at home. He'll do it if I ask him to - or more likely, ask him two, three times, then snark or yell at him. Which ends up making me feel like a shrew. I don't want that identity. I did not sign up for that marriage."
"Everytime I ask for his help, he would procrastinate. Then in the end, I would be the one who do it because he would fall asleep. But he could stay awake at midnight - to watch soccer or play games. Why do I stay with him? To be his slave?"
#####
Dear H, A and O (respective husbands to A, E and I)
I admit that I've only been married for less than five years and thus may not be the best marriage 'counsellor'. But your wife let off her steam to me, and while I talked on a different note to her, I was actually quite mad at you too, for making my friend felt that way.
In the first place, you married each other because you wanted to fulfill a religious obligation. An obligation that states that you, the husband, must fulfill the nafkah of your wife, and subsequently, nafkah of the children.
In meeting the economical needs - nafkah zahir - it's quite difficult to depend on just one salary nowadays, so you give permission to your wife to work and earn extra income. But giving permission for her to work does not mean that you are giving her half the responsibility. She does it out of charity, out of love for her family.
In fulfilling the nafkah of your wife, you must remember not to just fulfill the physical needs, but also the emotional and spiritual needs - nafkah zahir. To go on in a life, you need food and shelter; to go on living together, surely you need a lot more.
Now, since your wife is a working mother, then you must be more considerate towards her. You feel tired from a day's work, she feels that too. You feel frustrated and weary from work, she feels that too. So stop making lame excuses in sharing the load of household chores. How can a man - who has naturally been built stronger and more energetic - sit quietly while the weaker wife works hard at home, after a hard day's work in the office?
Do what needs to be done, preferably without being asked. You wake up later than her, you make the bed. You see socks on the floor, you put them in the washing machine. You see the toys cluttered, you clean them up. You see unwashed plates, you wash them up. Why do you have to wait to be asked or told what to do? You know you don't like to be 'ordered', so don't give her any space to 'order' you around.
And time is of an essence. If she asked you to do the dishes after breakfast since you go to work later than her, don't wait until the evening to get it done. Your house is not a restaurant - you don't wait to get served by others. You serve yourself and you clean up after yourself, by yourself.
When she asks for your help around the house, she's asking for support, for understanding. When she pleads for a massage, a foot rub, she's seeking for intimacy. In short, she needs to know and reassured that she's loved, cherished and appreciated.
Don't blame her for not wanting to spend more intimate times with you when you yourself do not spend much un-intimate times with her. Don't blame her for feeling tired all the times when you refused to tire yourself with some of the chores. Women are emotional creatures, if we are drained emotionally, chances are, we would be drained physically too.
Husband and wife both share the responsibility to make marriage work. Learn from our beloved Rasulullah s.a.w.. He never shied away from household chores, he even mended his own clothes. When breakfast was not prepared due to lack of food, he said that he would fast. When he returned late one night, he slept in front of the house, not wanting to disturb the wife's sleep. He said that the best amongst Muslim is the one who is kind to his wife.
So, what else do you need to persuade you to be kind to yours?
Being kind is part of proving your love for her. After all, love is a verb.
Love - the feeling - is a fruit of the verb.
"Sometimes, I just feel like crap because I work hard too, I have sacrificed too, and I am fried too, and while I do things for him, it feels like he never thinks to do anything just because it needs to get done at home. He'll do it if I ask him to - or more likely, ask him two, three times, then snark or yell at him. Which ends up making me feel like a shrew. I don't want that identity. I did not sign up for that marriage."
"Everytime I ask for his help, he would procrastinate. Then in the end, I would be the one who do it because he would fall asleep. But he could stay awake at midnight - to watch soccer or play games. Why do I stay with him? To be his slave?"
#####
Dear H, A and O (respective husbands to A, E and I)
I admit that I've only been married for less than five years and thus may not be the best marriage 'counsellor'. But your wife let off her steam to me, and while I talked on a different note to her, I was actually quite mad at you too, for making my friend felt that way.
In the first place, you married each other because you wanted to fulfill a religious obligation. An obligation that states that you, the husband, must fulfill the nafkah of your wife, and subsequently, nafkah of the children.
In meeting the economical needs - nafkah zahir - it's quite difficult to depend on just one salary nowadays, so you give permission to your wife to work and earn extra income. But giving permission for her to work does not mean that you are giving her half the responsibility. She does it out of charity, out of love for her family.
In fulfilling the nafkah of your wife, you must remember not to just fulfill the physical needs, but also the emotional and spiritual needs - nafkah zahir. To go on in a life, you need food and shelter; to go on living together, surely you need a lot more.
Now, since your wife is a working mother, then you must be more considerate towards her. You feel tired from a day's work, she feels that too. You feel frustrated and weary from work, she feels that too. So stop making lame excuses in sharing the load of household chores. How can a man - who has naturally been built stronger and more energetic - sit quietly while the weaker wife works hard at home, after a hard day's work in the office?
Do what needs to be done, preferably without being asked. You wake up later than her, you make the bed. You see socks on the floor, you put them in the washing machine. You see the toys cluttered, you clean them up. You see unwashed plates, you wash them up. Why do you have to wait to be asked or told what to do? You know you don't like to be 'ordered', so don't give her any space to 'order' you around.
And time is of an essence. If she asked you to do the dishes after breakfast since you go to work later than her, don't wait until the evening to get it done. Your house is not a restaurant - you don't wait to get served by others. You serve yourself and you clean up after yourself, by yourself.
When she asks for your help around the house, she's asking for support, for understanding. When she pleads for a massage, a foot rub, she's seeking for intimacy. In short, she needs to know and reassured that she's loved, cherished and appreciated.
Don't blame her for not wanting to spend more intimate times with you when you yourself do not spend much un-intimate times with her. Don't blame her for feeling tired all the times when you refused to tire yourself with some of the chores. Women are emotional creatures, if we are drained emotionally, chances are, we would be drained physically too.
Husband and wife both share the responsibility to make marriage work. Learn from our beloved Rasulullah s.a.w.. He never shied away from household chores, he even mended his own clothes. When breakfast was not prepared due to lack of food, he said that he would fast. When he returned late one night, he slept in front of the house, not wanting to disturb the wife's sleep. He said that the best amongst Muslim is the one who is kind to his wife.
So, what else do you need to persuade you to be kind to yours?
Being kind is part of proving your love for her. After all, love is a verb.
Love - the feeling - is a fruit of the verb.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Apakah?
Dear Z,
You appeared in my dream a few days ago.
I seldom dream, so it was a surprise of sort to have you entering my dream.
It's not like I was thinking of you or anything
In fact, when I woke up, I wondered why you of all people.
In my dream, you told me, "I'm marrying a beautiful girl. She's a lot younger than you. Prettier. Kinder"
I frowned. Perplexed.
You continued, "She could accept me for who I am. Unlike you. You quickly jumped to conclusion upon hearing about me from other people. You did not give me any chance to tell my side of story. You refused to listen to my explanation. You must think that you are better than me. Well, let me tell you that you are no better than me. And I am marrying someone better than you."
Astaghfirullahal'azim...
I woke up before I could respond to that.
Which was kind of frustrating, despite it being a silly "mainan tidur".
(I guess I forgot to wash my feet before going to be the previous night...)
Anyway Z, I want you to know that initially what I heard from others about you was really shocking, that I guess it wouldn't be wrong for you to assume that I looked at you with disdain back then. But that was not for long. I was later reminded by a friend that we are only human and we all make mistakes, and it is not for us human being to judge others. Only Allah has the right to judge us, His creations. And who are we to look down upon others when Allah might have forgiven that person for all his or her wrong doings by accepting his or her taubat, where else there is no guarantee as yet that Allah might have accepted our own taubat.
So Z, if it's true that you are getting married (finally!) to someone who is younger, prettier, kinder, better than me - that's good for you. I'm happy for you. Alhamdulillah.
I want you to know that I do not think that I'm better than you. I have no right to think such thought. We are all equal and the only thing that could differentiate us is taqwa, yet only Allah knows where we stand in terms of taqwa. I am sorry if I have left a different impression on you before. I apologize for all my wrongdoings, and I make doa that we will always be blessed and guided to the right path.
You take good care bro.
You appeared in my dream a few days ago.
I seldom dream, so it was a surprise of sort to have you entering my dream.
It's not like I was thinking of you or anything
In fact, when I woke up, I wondered why you of all people.
In my dream, you told me, "I'm marrying a beautiful girl. She's a lot younger than you. Prettier. Kinder"
I frowned. Perplexed.
You continued, "She could accept me for who I am. Unlike you. You quickly jumped to conclusion upon hearing about me from other people. You did not give me any chance to tell my side of story. You refused to listen to my explanation. You must think that you are better than me. Well, let me tell you that you are no better than me. And I am marrying someone better than you."
Astaghfirullahal'azim...
I woke up before I could respond to that.
Which was kind of frustrating, despite it being a silly "mainan tidur".
(I guess I forgot to wash my feet before going to be the previous night...)
Anyway Z, I want you to know that initially what I heard from others about you was really shocking, that I guess it wouldn't be wrong for you to assume that I looked at you with disdain back then. But that was not for long. I was later reminded by a friend that we are only human and we all make mistakes, and it is not for us human being to judge others. Only Allah has the right to judge us, His creations. And who are we to look down upon others when Allah might have forgiven that person for all his or her wrong doings by accepting his or her taubat, where else there is no guarantee as yet that Allah might have accepted our own taubat.
So Z, if it's true that you are getting married (finally!) to someone who is younger, prettier, kinder, better than me - that's good for you. I'm happy for you. Alhamdulillah.
I want you to know that I do not think that I'm better than you. I have no right to think such thought. We are all equal and the only thing that could differentiate us is taqwa, yet only Allah knows where we stand in terms of taqwa. I am sorry if I have left a different impression on you before. I apologize for all my wrongdoings, and I make doa that we will always be blessed and guided to the right path.
You take good care bro.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Teruja
"Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, Peraturan 4A, Peraturan-peraturan Pegawai Awam (Kelakuan dan Tatatertib) 1993 menjelaskan bahawa pejawat awam dilarang melakukan perbuatan bersifat seksual menyebabkan seseorang yang waras tersinggung, terhina atau terugut"
"Initipatinya ialah - tersinggung, terhina, terugut. Tak kisah lah sama ada perbuatan bersifat seksual ini secara lisan, bertulis, SMS dan tidak terhad di tempat kerja atau pada waktu kerja."
"Kalau teruja, macam mana?"
Seisi kelas tergelak besar.
Dan itu yang ramai bimbangkan.
Bila gangguan seksual tidak lagi dianggap gangguan.
Dan ramai juga bimbangkan.
Kes-kes melibatkan hubungan dua insan.
Yang bermula dengan 'ter'kasihan
membawa kepada 'ter'suka, 'ter'sayang, 'ter'cinta
dan 'ter'kahwin.
Lebih parah, kalau sampai terlanjur.
Dan jadi pula kes 'ter'gugur atau 'ter'buang.
"Initipatinya ialah - tersinggung, terhina, terugut. Tak kisah lah sama ada perbuatan bersifat seksual ini secara lisan, bertulis, SMS dan tidak terhad di tempat kerja atau pada waktu kerja."
"Kalau teruja, macam mana?"
Seisi kelas tergelak besar.
Dan itu yang ramai bimbangkan.
Bila gangguan seksual tidak lagi dianggap gangguan.
Dan ramai juga bimbangkan.
Kes-kes melibatkan hubungan dua insan.
Yang bermula dengan 'ter'kasihan
membawa kepada 'ter'suka, 'ter'sayang, 'ter'cinta
dan 'ter'kahwin.
Lebih parah, kalau sampai terlanjur.
Dan jadi pula kes 'ter'gugur atau 'ter'buang.
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